My story

This is what everyone has been waiting on but I had to finish the book first. I had to finish healing and allow God to take over because I am not sure if I would have ever told all of this story. If you have been following me on Facebook you know my entire story makes me sound insanely ridiculous. There is a reason people do not believe and that is because they are not reading the Bible for all it is worth. I am not better than anyone and I have literally prayed the person I am NOW into existence. I was a horrible person that wanted things MY way and I am sure we can all relate to that. It is not a very healthy way to live our lives. I cared about the people I liked before 2012 but I would tell you, and quite quickly, that I did not like very many people. There were a lot of folks I did not like because I thought they were stupid. I think I felt like this until He woke me up from TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). When I say woke up please know that He had to wake me up to myself and the real world around me because I purposely lived in my social bubble. If any of this is sounding familiar to you, you could be much more like old me than you realized. I loved the Lord, do not ever mistake that but I did not love His people which means I did not totally love Him. That was and is a hard pill to swallow but I have choked on a lot of what He has given me about myself in the last 8 months.

My great awakening, when the headaches started, when my face was set on fire and when my tooth fell out started 8 months ago. This was God getting ahold of me to put me in check. I had to come around the the person I came back as in order to accomplish His goals in my life. And, to use me. He has a plan for you too and not everyone has to die to come to this realization! I was one of the most hard headed kids God has! I would pop-off and get mouthy with anyone, if I didn’t want to punch them in the mouth. There were times, in my younger years, that I did punch those folks in the mouth. Because of this huge shift in my life people think I am insane but I am just a product of what God wants to do with all of His kids. He wants to remove us from everything we love in the world where we love Him the most. Talk about an ego trip… lol.. but seriously I was so selfish I was my own god and would never give up my reins for Him to reign. I am shocked by what He has done and He was able to do this to ME!! I was literally hell on wheels so when I died I was in hell the first time I opened my eyes, after spirits drug me down. Do I know if I would have stayed in hell if that pizza had not been removed from my throat, I do not and I do not want to know. What I do know is that I am a changed person that most people do not know. The ones that knew me before know there is a God though because this change is something only He could muster the strength to do. There have been many people try and change me but none as powerful as God, as if there ever could be. God is power of all power and I love that. God also sends us a spirit of power, I know I have it but He is still teaching me to use His power because it is not magic and I cannot use it at my will but at His. I know how that sounds trust me. I said it out loud for the first time the other day and I wanted to suck it back in.. but, too late. Hell is literal and proverbial. We can make a mess of our own lives so much we are living in a hell on earth called life. I have done this as well and had to pray my way out of those messes. It is only God that can take a mess and create a message. I will spend the rest of my life sharing how to keep yourself out of any type of hell.

I went to heaven as well and it is the most beautiful city that could ever exist. It is exquisite, smells to perfection and has music 1000% of the time. The colors and the buildings are something our minds cannot describe and without the Spirit we cannot comprehend it all. I explain Heaven as in as much detail as He would allow. The train was the coolest thing! Jesus was the absolute BEST! Just saying all of this still puts a choke in my throat because I am the most unworthy person He could ever do this to. When I was with Him and we agreed I would come back we kinda cut a deal, so to speak. I could come back for my grands but I had to enlist in His army. It was a pretty easy decision to make because He said my grands would need me one day to bring them up the way they should go. I was shown their future and there was only one at the time. I have been able to tell my children when they have been pregnant and I have not been wrong. I watched my grands go into foster care while I was in heaven and I had no idea why but I knew I could never allow that. I knew I had to do everything in my absolutely nothingness of a person to save them. I did not care about myself and I knew I would come back without all of my brain. I also KNEW He was going to heal me. I just did not know when. This blog post has me up in my feels for sure! I am siting here crying as I write it. There is so much truth I want to tell people but God has made me shut my mouth. i can only give what He allows. I can only do what He allows and it changed everything about my life. This changed everything about everyone’s life that knows me and is close to me. I have lost people that I loved because of all of this because I got mad at God. He wasn’t working fast enough at healing me and I was losing everyone around me. They were not paying attention to anything I was saying and mostly some still dont. That is not my fault but I do what God tells me. He scares me! He should scare everyone, He is the Keeper of our souls. He is also our only judge and jury that matters.

Traumatic brain injury was the worst thing I have ever experienced in this realm, that is for sure. Living without a brain makes it impossible for anything else in the body to function correctly. The only thing i really wanted to do was hang out with God, this is for real all I do now. I do not know if I had stayed like I am now and not went off on a bender if I would have healed sooner or not. I will never know, not in this life, anyway. And, I really do not want to. Satan was given permission to sift me when I wrecked, and I believe this is part of the reason why I saw hell. I was one of those that did not know what was after this life or if there was really a life after this one. For those of you not sure I promise that entire Bible is real. It is all real! Angels, demons, hell, heaven, the mansions, Jesus, God.. ALL of it! I had faith but not how I have faith now. It took God all of this time and I went way off the deep end with sinning I had to run back the prodigal so I know that is true as well. I still cannot believe what He has done. He healed me! I broke my neck from C2=C5 and crush T9. As a retired nurse that alone should have killed me and paralyzed me if I came out of the coma not a vegetable. I had a brain bleed or fat hematoma (sorta like a boxers closed black eye but on my brain). It was exhausting and the injuries were extensive.

There is a ton to this story and I have tried to keep everything short and sweet so people would read the blog posts. I have not told any of my story on here though, but today I was told to share some. The book goes way more in depth! I am so glad it is finished!! There are people that will think I am crazy. There are people that will hate me, but you know what? They hated my God too. So, I now look at it as a pleasure to be hated by many. I get so much now that never made sense to me. I never looked at everyone in the Bible as flesh and blood. I think we all tend to at times but read the Bible like it is a book of stories, I used to so I know folks do this. We need to put ourselves in their shoes and we come to know them as people. When we can see ourselves there with them the Bible really comes alive. I find my greatest joy in life is communing with the Lord. He is the breath I breathe and I am the apple of HIs eye, but so are you! Be encouraged because if He can do this to me, and I could have been a serial killer in a previous life, He can do it to anyone. Before someone writes me about that I do not believe in previous lives, reincarnation or any of that bull. I believe in God but I do have a sense of humor, you should get one! There is always that one… don’t be that one!

I like to pray with everyone that reads my blog so lets pray.

Father, we come before you with thanksgiving and praise. We thank you for us being here and for us not being sick during CV19. If someone is sick Lord, we ask you to touch them with your Mighty Hand and heal them. Father, thank you that we have food to eat and a warm bed to sleep in and for modern technology. Thank You for being the great physician and for providing for us. Please forgive us for any and all sins. Show us when we are sinning and anything that is hidden in our hearts that we need to take care of. Do not allow bitterness, jealousy or any other negativity to rule over us but show us where we are wrong and show us what we need to let go of. Thank You. Father for Your love, grace, mercy and forgiveness. Remove anything and everyone that is not to go with us in our future, Father. Get those snakes out of our grass. Help us to stay clean and thank You for washing us with the blood of Jesus. Sweep through our land and overtake this virus killing people for we know You are our only hope. Be with our leaders, especially our President, and allow them to make wise decisions for us as individuals and us as a nation. Allow us to adhere to their warnings and fix ourselves before we ever think we have the authority to judge someone else without judging ourselves first. Thank you Father for Your ear. We love you. In Jesus name I seal this prayer. Amen