Love tests?!

If you haven’t been through this already I am here to warn you that it is coming. No matter what happens do not react. If you are lied to, laugh. If someone tries to bring up your past, you know who you are today. You know what God has done in you. They will come. This could be someone from your past or it could be a cashier at the grocery store. No matter what it is you be kind. You show God’s love. You feed your enemies because it is like dumping hot coals on their heads. Rom 12:20.

When you are about to go into a new level with the Lord the devil will send people to try and trap you. They will try and make you lose your cool. They will try and make you flip your lid. They will test if you love everyone like we are commanded. Do you want to go back? Do you want to go back to where God called you out of? Do you want to go back into something you literally had to pray your way out of because of the pain it caused? Do you want to live like you have in the past? I know I do not. I know what quitting looks like and this time I will see what full throttle ahead has in store. Is it comfortable? NO! I promised I would never lie and I wont. None of this has been comfortable. I am beginning to think it never will be but I keep pushing forward. I want you to as well.

Be smart. Pass the test and know that its coming. Yesterday I went to Sam’s and there was a rude cashier. Back in the day I would have said something like, “boy, you are sure having a bad day, huh?” I would have gotten irritated at his rudeness and prolly told him he needed to find another job if he hated this one. Truth is people have bad days. I have bad days but when I do I try and stay by myself. This isn’t always possible for any of us. I want people to know how loved they are. So, this time I just smiled and told him, “may God bless you abundantly.” There are times when people make me mad, well, they do. I have been guilty of sending texts telling people that they are not acting right. Really it was me not acting right. I do not need a person but only to take everything to the Lord. Our ego will get in the way when we expect ourselves from others. Not everyone is where you are. Not everyone is healed and whole. Not everyone knows how to love unconditionally. Best way I can say this is dont expect you from another. Everyone is you removed. People are still being sanctified, it is a process and not an easy one. Be there to help them. Sometimes your job in someone’s life is to teach. Other times it is to RUN like Forrest Gump. Ask- Prov 3:5,6. Ask! The Lord will tell you everything you need to know about a situation and what your roll is in that persons life. Sometimes you are to bless someone and move on. Teach and move on. Love from afar. False prophets seem all good on the outside and they will try and say all the right things but they are ravenous wolves on the inside. Their hearts are cloudy, and I do not mean partly cloudy, they are full of hate. Be careful! Caution! Proceed with caution!!

Until we pass a test we will have to repeat it. Stop the cycles!! I failed Friday night on a test. My ego got in the way. I thought I needed the help of a particular person when I didn’t. But, I still said somethings I shouldn’t have. Yesterday I had to repeat my love test. If I had only kept my mouth shut Friday … lol.. I am still very much human and I do expect different from some people, especially other believers. What I forgot is that their heart is not where mine is, yet. I have full faith that they will move with God instead of regressing back into patterns of their past. When people act bad, to us, and treat us bad, this lets us know how to pray for them. Is it always easy? Ummm, heck naw! It is one of the hardest things I have had to learn. Learn from me and my mistakes so you do not make them. Keep your mouth shut and pray more than you ever confront something. PASS YOUR TEST!! When we do we do not have to repeat it to gain new levels of trust with the Lord. Remember, to treat people how you want to be treated. Not always easy but it is possible. Know when it is you and not the other person… that is the kicker right there. Admitting that we were stupid once again when we should have known better.

Do I love those that do not have their hearts pure? Yes and I want them to get where they are pure in the quickest, least painful ways, possible. Is it always my job to help them? No, and that one was hard to accept. I can only give people tools I cannot make them do the work. Neither can you. We cannot make anyone act right all we can do is love them through it. Sometimes loving them through it is backing away completely. Not an easy task when you love hard. I was not one that loved hard, unless it was my children or my grands, so this is completely new to me. This love walk is intense and to all of you that have always loved hard dont you dare quit! We are to love everyone as we love ourselves. When we do we will not want them to suffer any at all. Are they all our battles? Not always, but God will tell you who is and who isn’t. He has kept me around some that I wanted to jet away from and others He has told me kick the dirt off ya shoes and get to steppin’! That is how God talks to me. He talks to everyone in a way they will understand. Pay attention and ask Him everything. I wish I had asked Him Friday night if I was to send that text because then I would not have. Not my battle! Not my place to tell anyone when they aren’t acting like Jesus it is His! That “not my battle” has become hard for me to accept because He made wanting to help people a passion. I think He had to put me around certain individuals to teach me to love them anyway. No matter what a person does I have learned to separate their behavior from them as a person, a child of God. When you can separate everything done and said from them you can love hell right out of them. Is this a tad bit scary? No, it is a lot scary because I feel like I am sticking my heart out on the line to be shattered. Being vulnerable was not ever one of my strong points. I was a hard a$$ BEEEPP.. lol.. I know who I was and I know what I will never go back into. I never want that person to come up in me again. I have prayed and prayed to never return to what I knew, to not ever depend on my own understanding, to never be allowed to succumb to any situation. To change me. To help me. To guide me. To remove my emotions from everything and teach me Your ways. Some tough prayers to change me were answered. I passed yesterday and I feel like I could again. I know what I have done wrong and I dont need to repeat any of my former mistakes.

God keeps telling me, “I got your back.” I trust Him. If He has my back He has yours!! I trust Him to tell me who to be around and who to let go of. If you’re trying to make something work that you cried and prayed your way out of- stop! Proceed with caution and allow Holy Spirit to guide your steps and the peace of God to guard your mind and your heart. Work with Him and not against Him. Do not trap yourself into something that isn’t for you. Wait on the Lord and be obedient. He does know best.

If you haven’t watched “The Matrix” I highly recommend that you do. I refer to this a lot. Even if you have, watch it again. You can either take the blue pill and go back to life as you know it (you’ve been down that road and know where it goes.. do you want to stay there?) or you can take the red pill and find the truth. I wanted the truth. I wanted God to wake me up. This went deep for me because He woke me up from TBI (traumatic brain injury) but it is really no different than what others experience when they do not want to see the truth. This could go with anything we face. Do you want the truth? When we do God will show us. He will tell you everything, even give you driving directions. I never knew the power that lived inside of me but He is teaching me. He wants us all to know. God is not a respecter of persons. What He did for one He wants to do in us all. When you watch this listen to what Morpheus says to Neo. You are the one! Get rid of all that fear, doubt and disbelief. Take that leap of faith! The just walk by faith and not by sight. You gotta know that God is there with you and that He will not allow you to fall on your face. This reminds me of when Neo took his first jump and fell. He got up and we have to as well. We all fall, but we will survive. We may bend but we won’t break. Trust Him!

I have had several love tests this weekend. It took me failing one to recognize what was going on. I will not repeat any old cycles. I will ask God what to do in every situation and circumstance. I will rely on Him to guide my steps. Tell yourself these things. It gets it in your head so you rely on Him fully! Our egos want to go ahead of God and it is time we shut that down. Have a great day! God bless!!