I will not ever go anywhere that Holy Spirit didn’t lead and if He isn’t welcome then neither am I. He has so changed me and it is time to arise and shine for my light has come.

I’m so grateful He feels He can use this mess. I never wanted any of this but I have to do this. I want to but it’s deeper than anything people see on the surface. I owe Him! I owe Him my very life (Philemon). I didn’t want people to know me. I didn’t want people around me. I was not a people”y” person. Now, I look at everyone exactly the same bc I understand who you are. I think differently towards different people but love them all. I prolly love my grands more than I love you but 🤷‍♀️. This is important bc I was one of those selfish people that didn’t love others. How could I love them when mostly I didn’t even like people? The heart yall … this heart is new and so pure. It’s like it’s been reset and it was never hurt.

Each time I got hurt my heart would grow a little darker, seeds of anger attached roots. When I say I could have taken out some folks believe me bc in my head they were already dead. I was on the edge of crossing over to the dark side, and I say that with all seriousness and more gratefulness in my heart bc it could have gotten so bad. But God snatched me by the hair of my head again, and saved me from me but my God did it hurt! He told me if I didn’t leave somewhere I’d hurt. I did hurt but it was temporary bc I obeyed. As soon as I depended on Him and let Him begin to lead and tell me where to go the pain was gone. I had to, the pain was severe!!! I’m still exactly where He put me and will stay until He moves me. People say God wouldn’t do that … please! He is God and can do/allow what He wants! In the Bible an angel volunteered to become a lying spirit to the prophets of Baal (I think). He hardened pharaohs heart. People need to read the Bible for themselves!

I have no idea how to do any of this, but I know how to pray. I know how to praise. I know how to worship. I know how to get right up under His wings. When I pray I know it is done. I know He hears me and He has promised me every person around me when I pray and love on Him will be healed. See?, I have to do this. I wasn’t really sure it would happen but He’s shown me.

If you get out of the way He will praise Himself. I’ve danced with Spirit doing it and it’s kinda odd, so awkward at first in front of others but I’ve also noticed they are amazed to see it. I’m amazed to see it. Not many dance in the spirit. I’ve only seen it once and it was my body that was taken over during worship by His Spirit. I opened my eyes to see what was going on and then shut them and let Him go at it.

It’s so weird how when you get to know yourself you get to know all 3 parts of you and you’re gonna have conversations with all of them. I was listening in on a conversation with my soul (thoughts, will, emotions) yesterday and my heart. I felt them fully merge. I felt them fall in love. This is biblical where scripture gets deep in Ephesians about marriage but I’m not ready to explain this, I’m learning.. the heart has brain cells it’s like they got married to the brain brain cells and now my flesh is on board. The soul works with the brain so if you get your head right your heart will follow. Submission was a bit tricky until I had the revelation I chose all of this. I believe we know our end from our beginning and we chose our path. Whether we come back to Christ is on us but we were born for such a time as this. We knew what we were up against when we came into this world but it was like turned off. Holy Spirit will bring all things to your remembrance.

All the love you’ll ever need is on the inside of you. To love my heart I had to get to know her and Jesus. She was broken, healed, touched, all of it but I had to know I could trust her bc I knew old me and the last thing I ever wanted was to go into a TBI blackout and not know what happened or if she was bad or deadly. Main reason I don’t drink! This became my only fear and it was bc I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t trust my brain or my heart and I was on guard at all times- it was rather exhausting! I had to learn to trust Spirit within me first and then she (my heart) earned her trust. I had to see how she really felt about stuff. And, once I learned the heart had brain cells it was time for them to be activated. We can talk to our cells, they are conscious and hear us. Everything is spiritual but I can explain it better using science, at times bc I am a science geek turned God’s spiritual nerd; our hearts remember the love it has for Jesus when you get to know it.

Writing like this has helped me get to know me and Jesus, Holy Spirit and Daddy. If you don’t journal I highly recommend it. You can write out questions and get answers!! Lots of answers…. Trust what you write. Trust the Writer within you.

I questioned my discernment so much but I’m not doing that anymore. He shows and tells me everything before I step into it. I knew about someone wanting to try and manipulate me and what they were going to use to try before it ever happened!! This happened a little bit ago and I flew off!! I will not allow this girl to be hurt again!! She is my car and won’t nobody be taking advantage of her anymore or trying to use anything to manipulate her! The devil has nothing in me!! It’ll never be my fault someone let the devil use them and I’m gonna show them how he did it and what their total part was. I did this and laughed. Then I prayed! That manipulative spirit had to back away from me!! I will not allow this crap!

I’ve noticed when I start breaking something off people, they will get diarrhea bc our bodies must be purged of lies stored up in us. Bowls remove toxins! Strange but true lol ask people that know, hang out and pray with me. Hahaha it’s a little funny.

Don’t let anyone make you question yourself…
Who told you?
Who told you that you couldn’t do this? Who told you that you weren’t worthy? Who told you? Who told you those lies?? And when you get to they said, who is they? You better recognize and do what God says.
Being in alignment in this hour is gonna be crucial. You’re gonna need to be able to hear from Him yourself.

I will tell all He gives me without questions from now on bc there has been a lot He has told me that is in journals and words I have never put out. I had to make sure I was hearing right. I have had to revisit some of them with the spirit discernment and get further meaning, clairty, add to/take away… etc. Some of it I didn’t like and some of it others won’t like either. They can be mad. I dont care bc I know they’re not really mad at me but at what God says. I’m not gonna take it personally unless someone tries to put their hands on me … then we fight, it’s really just that simple. I grew up in a tough town and had several 3rd degree battery charges before I was 16! I was straight up a fighter. Now, I really don’t want to but the devil better know I will and folks the devil is using against me better recognize all my anger is toward the devil. I will go after the demon first but if they wanna rock we can play! Hahaha that’s so funny. My flesh is a fighter! She will throw down and ain’t scared of nothing. I was not the portion of this being that wanted to zip line. She’s pretty tough, I’ll give her that. Our bodies are remarkable! I went and shot at bottles and didn’t miss. This impressed me, I literally impressed myself. I’ve learned I didn’t trust my body but I do now. She knows what to do! Look how fabulously she held up and fought for us. She’s pretty badass in my opinion.

I’m gonna go hang out w some cowboys for the rest of the day. Stay blessed! ✌️🙏

Isaiah 60
Ezekiel 36
Esther 4
Romans 8