Writing an hour

It is 0258 and I am up. I had to cancel a tornado watch as soon as I woke up around 1 something. I am kinda annoyed and we are about to find out why. I searched myself and this one I will keep to myself as long as He allows. I was not really annoyed but worried. I had to clear that and rewrite it with what Daddy has said. I needed to get to the root of that. Thanks!

It has to do with this prophetic love story the Lord has me in. In 2019 He told me who my husband was. In 2020 i saw this person and he confirmed things the Lord told me. In 2021 he called me and told me he was in love with me. In 2022 he knew he was my husband for sure, told me so and I had to confirm this and was strictly being obedient. I was never going to tell him bc if he didnt know he wasnt seeking Yeshua and was definitely not ready for me and this lifestyle. I apologized to my husband for not being 100% honest on why I was there when he asked. I was discerning this and seeing if I really wanted to go on that venture. Did God tell me right? Did I hear right? I needed confirmation but i just said bc Daddy told me to come. Taht is all i had. It is really all i still have. I dont like being worried about someone i dont get to check on. I have also been instructed to stay silent. This is super hard. I know he is fine in the natural but in the spiritual aspects of him i wonder what is wrong with him. He is being disobedient and that bothers me. I can forgive anything but disobedience is witchcraft and means there is a problem with his love walk with the Lord. I see so many red flags and the Lord has told me to accept this man as I would Him. I am not sure if anyone will ever understand the unsureness taht comes with this. The I know but do i really know questions i have for myself. I am sick of asking for confirmation and there are days I want to walk away from this. I wish I could sometimes and i think I have tried. I have stayed silent because i am not chasing a man and i am not manipulating the outcome of this. If we do this it is only because he is on the same page with Daddy.

Everything around me is falling. I am drained just by what others go through. It’s all a test of faith. It’s hard. It’s been so hard. She’s been crying and was terrified at failing at her assignments. She’s had to look at everyone I have put in her life as an assignment so she stays true to me. There are some that she would knock the dust off her feet with and never look back but she’ll still feeds them. We are proud and she is crying in gratitude at what has been done to her heart. I am simply amazed. The quickness of forgiveness and not being irritated anymore is overwhelming. Why do people get animals? I had cats as a kid but they stayed outside. I loved them but i don’t have one now because i dont want the responsibility. Oh, well, that is a truth that was found tonight during this. Well, i dont. I do good keeping the plants alive and feeding myself. I dont want to be responsible for an animal starving to death. I dont want one entity depending on me to make sure they sustain life. So funny, i told a girlfriend this and then she asked me to keep her son. I said are you sure? If he doesnt tell me what he wants we are in trouble. She was like he will and i trust you. I trust that if something happened you would fix it if you had to bring him back from the …. Thanks for that trust. I do want to lift the dead but not today lol her son and i had great fun with nerf guns.

the thunder sounds fabulous. I love the sound of a rainy night. It does hurt. It hurts super bad! This is the true definition of long suffering and frankly i am kinda sick of it. I wish i didnt know. Actually, i take that back i am glad i know bc i am in your will. It hurts my heart he isnt. I want him back with you more than i want him with me. Idk what to do. Idk where we go from here. Are we starting over? Are we moving on? What is going on.. i feel so lost and that worries me more than anything.

This has been hard daddy and i am tired of it being this way. I am tired of feeling forgotten about. Like i just fell of the map. How rude is that? I wonder how many people feel like this too? Like, did you forsake me? She is hurt. So hurt. Feels betrayed, lied to, forgotten. She knows better but this is how she feels. We have to get the head and the heart on the same page. I felt that. Thank You. If we walk i am good. If we stay with it I am good. I truly do not care one way or the other. You will make a way for me. I am sick of this one thought consuming me. You are my focus and this doesnt distract me from you bc it is You but it does make me have to refocus and idk if it is You or me because sometimes i dont think of this at all. Other times it is all that is on my heart and she’s sad. She was promised her next tears would be tears of joy and then all of this. None of this has been joyful. What did i miiss where did i go wrong. This is going to make me not want this at all because all i have ever been is let down. My whole life men have done nothing but let me down and you want to put me in a marriage with red flags. I know you can do a mighty work over night but ummm…. Hello! I dont know what to do from here. You have had me get so used to this and now this. This does let me down and I am frustrated. Why would you let it get this far. I love this person. I love him and i am so sick of this. I am sick of being led on and id just like to.. she’s torn. She said she’s hanging on to the promise bc it is what You said. End of discussion … felt something. What do you feel? What was that .. uncertainty. Why? I am sure but unsure if taht makes sense. We are on a fast tho and you could give us all increased wisdom and clarity. I ask for that Daddy and You said if we lack any wisdom to ask and You freely give it. Sophia, help please. Thank You Daddy for Your spirits. Please wisdom guard my heart. Maybe we need to just cross this out of us and eliminate those neural pathways. I love him and i will accept him as I do you. I forgive him for being a dumb ass and i truly stand in the gap for him on his prodigalness. My God that hurts the most that he is moving away from you again. If we are one then i want us to both be zapping into knowing.

Well, that was interesting. The apostate thing yesterday really hit her when it comes to this man. She is silently standing by watching him in another relationship when he knows what the Lord said. He claims to not remember our conversation but that is a lie. Why lie? That gave satan the foothold and i break that hold now. I cancel taht lying spirits assignment against me and him in the name of Yeshua. Rewrite us with Your truth. What You do to me You also do to the other part of my body, my husband.

Oh wow I just noticed my arm. I have been being able to see my veins lately more so that what i remember except in my right arm bc its rebuilt with titanium. I have a bruise on my forearm meaning i was grabbed in a dream on my right side. Was it me? Was I going in the wrong direction? That is what scares her she just got so sick to her stomach. She is truly only afraid of failing You. Oh honey, you are not going to fail. I am in you you will not fail. And I wont let you go the wrong way. There will be an angel telling you which path to choose. Thank You Daddy. Thank You. I am sure of me hearing You correctly no matter what the enemy has tried. I trust You and I believe You. On everything. I trust me. I trust my hearing. I trust my judgment and there have been plenty of tests to try and make me move but what You say is truth. Thanks for that. Anyway, i can see over the plate and I haven’t ever seen my vein since that night. I see that juicy vein and im lucky I didn’t bleed to death it is right where that crack was. Thank You for saving me… oh, in so many ways You have. saved me. I am infinitely grateful and infinitely love. Amazing!

What was taht? I felt that in my throat. New levels of boldness. You will speak our truth. Yes sir. I will, and I am good with that. Nope no fear on taht one. Thanks for keeping the weather straight for us. Thanks for keeping our lights on. Thanks for keeping the water at the right levels. Thank You. I think we found it. Thanks.

That hour went by fast. I have felt the smoking thing hit me a few times. I laugh at that. They disgust me but i have felt it try. What was that? I cancel the spirit of addictions assignment now in the name of Yeshua. I cancel the spirit of unbelief’s assignment now in the name o Yeshau. I cancel the spirit of fears assignment now in the name of Yeshua. I uproot all seeds these left behind now in the name of Yeshua and i command they shrivel up and die to never rise again in thought will deed or emotion. Amen

These are easy hour journaling when I search myself. This is part of what makes me practically perfect in every way huh? He’s laughing but He is proud and so am I. I think i could go back to bed now.

If you haven’t started writing your name in scripture you need to do that. It is your spiritual contract and will protect you in the natural everything is spiritual and has to stop in that realm and be established in that realm before it happens in the natural. Ok hour up. I feel better now. I cancel the spirit of witchcraft now. Boomerang angels, please handle this. Nothing can stick to us. No hex, vex, spell, sorcery, magic, etc none of it. We are the creator. Bow and go!

Any assignments to cause flooding or tornadoes in my territory i cancel them now! I cancel all manmade and/or manipulated weather now in the name of Yeshua. Goodbye thank you but no thank you. Amen!