Let me tell you a story.

Fifteen years ago I met someone on a website. I was meeting many to be honest. I was new in town and thought it would be a perfect time to write a book about dating. I was talking to two guys that looked very similar. I invited one to my house… I know so stupid and I wouldn’t do this today. We had a blast. I cooked, we ate and played rock band on the wii (it was a long time ago but I still love this game). After a while of us playing and him getting whipped I looked at him and asked, “I thought you had a goat tee” he answered, “no, I’ve never had one”. I tried to redeem myself and said, “maybe you should try it out. Or a beard you’d look fabulous!” At that moment I realized I mixed the men up. I had a book full of notes on several different men and threw the whole thing away. I wish I still had that thing to see what I said and felt but I can imagine I felt stupid. I felt really stupid after I saw this guy a few more times and he casually mentioned in conversation he was married. I was like oh no what have I done. This is not what I set out to do nor was ever getting involved with a married man again. I had done this once in my younger years (about 17) and was not going down this road again. I had to end things. I had to get away. I had to heal bc I fell in love. I said from that day forward I wouldn’t fall in love again. I would not allow anyone to hurt me like this for the rest of my life. I have loved but not been “in” love and really I never got butterflies with this person but I felt safe. I felt like nothing could touch me as long as I was near him. Had to get away. Started seeing a few new people to try and make this person leave my head and my heart and I prayed. I prayed hard for Yah to heal me and I didn’t know Him then like I do now. That man has never left my memory or my heart. In 2019 the Lord told me He had a husband for me. I said ok not knowing who He was talking about. I was submitted so whatever He said I will do, doesn’t matter what or what others think about it. In late Nov 2019 the Lord told me who thst man was and I laughed. I said there is no way I am going to marry this man. Haha I laughed some more and simply told the Lord … show me. Oh my goodness has he. This man has called me every two years since 2012 (my wreck) and we got together in 2020. He confirmed things that the Lord told me and still has no idea about this. We talked in 2022 and in 2024 we married with some washing of the feet and some vows before the Lord. We’ve been separated since but when Yah tells you something believe Him no matter how it looks or how bad the situation may seem. He reconciles the past and time. Doing a new thing. Boy, this is for sure new! Then in 2022 the Lord started giving me the revelation of why He put us together and the story about King David and Bathsheba and Adam and Eve. Not sure what all this marriage will birth but it is for Him. I’ve begged Yah to remove this cup from me since I found out until He showed me that this person and I were created together like Adam and Eve. I was floored. Like literally fell out in the floor and cried … why would you do this to me?? People are going to hate me for this. I didn’t remember all of this until recently. (Like 6 mths ago). There are still many things I’m sure I don’t remember and I’m so ok with that. My past has been covered in the Blood. He has removed all the shame and guilt of this from me and this man. We are free. Some people won’t understand we made a stupid mistake and we’re still destined to be together before the foundations of the earth. I went from begging Yah to take this cup from me to needing to want this man. He is part of my calling. He is a main character and I need him to complete my calling. Yah did this!

Not everyone will understand your calling and not everyone will be on board with what you are called to do… so it anyway! People are not your way into heaven!