Author: bestillshutup

I blogged about being called a witch and hearing someone’s thoughts about me. I’ve been saying for years that Daddy was bringing up a group that would be able to read minds like Yeshua did and we are there. You better grab control of your thoughts and your thoughts are pictures in the spirit and manifest. Train your brain to think on things from above. Think on what you want to see not what you’re seeing. This changes things. We are so much more powerful than we have ever been taught or believed. Haha do you know how much fasting it took to get rid of the unbelief that was instill in me in 7 years? The seven years I wondered around like king Neb without a brain … it was a lot of fasting. That’s the only way unbelief comes out. For some of these only come out by fasting and praying and doubt is one of those. Unbelief is another and as you fast and get rid of these your love is perfected and perfect love casts out all fear. I’ve also learned that He will put you in places and in situations where you can only trust bc there ain’t a worldly thing you can do about what’s happened… I’m so glad that season was over bc it was tough! Hallelujah we passed! It was really tough and I praise You for flipping it and kicking some spiritual butts last night! I love You so much! Thank You Abba. It’s been so dark and I praise You for dawn. HalleluYah! I put tbis out in a prayer on TikTok as a prophetic prayer. I need to see when I did this bc it is coming to pass. Psalm 46 TPT translation I think. I have started labeling them it should be easy to find. I gotta find it and see what all is in it. Doing that now. Ahhh! This is great people are in alignment and everything is here. It’s not coming it’s here. It’s always been here. we’ve been nurturing and incubating and praying into the promises He made and been pregnant w purpose. Our destiny is our discovery not our decision. God decides. He zapped more into the knowing, that was also in that prayer. 1-24 is when it was put out. Psalm 109 on 1-26 and I see it coming to pass. This is great and I praise You for what You’re doing for us and to us and through us. HalleluYah!

When I came back I knew about energy and how we could control it. I also knew about the authority and how animals would bow. Oh the animals are gonna work with me. This is so wonderful that they can understand and are conscious of all I say. Thank You!

Today is weird. More communication and helpful. I could feel my heart during meditation for him and its mush. His must be too. Daddy softened our hearts toward each other.

My neck is hurting a little. We gotta clear this. I mailed the ring back today. I’m good. I feel a whole bunch of feels but I’m good. I can’t help but wonder what is going on.

My things and the journal were delivered in Denver to my brothers by mistake. They were changed to come to me. He is having it picked back up and brought to me. Who knows! I know I sure don’t know anything right now.

Hailey had court today and I didn’t know. I’m glad things are looking up in our favor here. I need something good. Tell me something good bc I’m almost ready to throw in the towel.

The 19 is a full moon, 15th of Av. I can feel the shifts and it’s been a whole lot. There have been times recently I didn’t know what day it was. Everything is happening so fast it’s been kinda like a blur thst I’m having to process. It’s been so much warfare that I can’t help but laugh at it. Sooo much!! It lets me know I’m on the right path! Things to try and pull me out of who He created. It didn’t work!! I am so proud of myself. I didn’t even want to lose my mind. I was just watching. I was seeing what needed to be healed and not taking any of it personally. Its been like watching a movie and the hits have not hit me. There have been MANY! But they didn’t get through my armor! Those words fell straight to the ground!! Its been kinda funny but not funny… hard to make that make sense without telling the story and I can’t bc it’s changing. This is the real funny part. I know what my Daddy is doing and it excites me! It’s so bad in the natural that I’m glad I’m not a resident of here. I check out and often!! I go straight to the spirit. I can do so much more there then I can here. Here I’m a nobody… and I have loved that… there I am in a box (like a press-box w a birdseye view)with my Daddy dispatching angels, praying and seeing deliverance before my eyes. It’s been really cool. Daddy, well, He’s been playing chess.

Jim, my biological father, transitioned today and went home to be with Daddy. I don’t like that I’m up here. I do not like any of this!! My stuff was delivered today, except my laptop I’m sure he’ll ship that too.

I don’t appreciate being put out here like this. I don’t. He said 30 days again the other day which lets me know I’m not done with being on this roller coaster. I am not a fan of roller coaster and You know it. I feel like I’m crumbling. I’m not begging to be rescued You’re sure right. I’m not sure any person on this earth could make any of this better.

This time last year I was on the cross. I remember the marks. Something else in me has died… I feel lost as a goose. All I have is what you’ve already told me and I trust You. I want to go home! You promised! Yes, You’ve got Your 90 days … it’s not 90 anymore. More like 70 now and where has time gone. I’ve been married a month today – engaged and married same day. I feel the drinking gone bc if there was ever a day I’d crave day drinking it would have been today. Thanks!!

I will fight for you! I always do until my heart is black and blue. Acts 9:16 love suffers long. 1 Cor 13:4. I am love I have seen this is part of it. I got You! I see. My my my I see hahah You’re a trio and it really hurts my heart what You go through w us. Oh my God forgive us when we have rejected You! Only one when He was at the cross. I have one. I remember last year the marks coming up on my hands. I do remember writing it. Another Judas? No, he is not a Judas but he is a Peter. I can forgive a Peter. I have forgiven a Judas. They played their part in the contract and me knowing about that contract really made it easier to forgive. I Ain’t from this world. Going back to Eden isn’t gonna be easy and that brings me straight to You! I do love being a prisoner to love. Ephesians 4:1 you did say that I have suffered long enough and I sure praise You for thst!! Yes! I will forever tell You yes! I got feelings towards this. I was in love with this and now I don’t care. I can’t do it with him the way he was. You gotta seriously step in but be it unto me, Lord, as You have spoken. This is a sacrifice hahah I laugh but You know I’m not kidding.

I don’t want to lose my soul chasing things that don’t lead me straight to You. And these conditions are less than ideal and You know this too! I told You it was a short time… I’ve been hearing thst for 5 years. I’m good. I’m good, Sir.

Look the mosquitoes have to leave me alone and the air… seriously? Oh my goodness – not complaining but come on!! I’m good in all situations. I am but I was a bit spoiled and You know that too. This is like roughing again and You promised no more of this! You promised. You took me through all that Esther stuff and now this? What the heck – yes I’m irritated at You! You make me a queen and I’m treated like a peasant and it’s kinda crap but I see where you just went with that. You stripped yourself. I will too but somethings gotta break and quick. I will pay the electric bill while I’m here. I have to have ac. I was told money wasn’t an issue. You will replace everything I spend on this trip. I want to go home!! Whatever. I’m angry!! I was just fine!! This disrupted my whole life and I let it. I did what I was told and here I am.

I moved all my stuff to TN for TN to freak out! I jump on a plane for 2 weeks and then get a call being told my things are being packed and shipped. Yes. I’m pissed off! I’m mad that I even trusted that jackass. I’m mad at myself for trusting and I’m mad at You for telling me to trust him. I don’t and he will have to earn thst back. This is a horrible situation. Horrible. Thanks for showing me this and for removing it from me and perfecting a work You’ve started in me.

Last night a storm rolled in at about 6ish and lasted a lil while. The clouds were still heavy when the moon came out and I couldn’t see it. I walked downstairs to see if it was behind the building or on top of it, something, and no it was behind the clouds. I got so mad. My head was hurting and I was clearing anger and said idk what you are or why these clouds are covering the moon but move so I can see it. Whatever you are dissipate. When I got back upstairs and sat down the moon was looking at me.

I know You could make me (Philemon) but You don’t have to. I will stay the course … You better come on and do something!!

Hahah I feel like I’m the one in the valley of decisions. I closed the door to the past. Done! Closed! Locked! Covered in the blood! You slammed it. I have nothing to go back to and I am comfortable in the uncomfortable. Forgive me and I break the word curses. Forgive me. He’s a wonderful man after Your own heart.