Author: bestillshutup

Lost my mind! Yep!! I sure have. I have lost ALL the worldliness. I left it behind to pick up my cross! I left everything to follow Yeshua and that means pagan practices. Do you reallly think I care what you think? You are not my way back Home! He is. He is the only way! People think this is the law and well, it kinda is and I know you’re gonna say we are under grace and we are but when Yah tells us to practice His feast all generations and the apostles celebrated the feast not a birthday this means He did not change. Bible says He doesn’t change. You either believe it all or none! He took me out of the world to get the world out of me. He rescued me from Egypt. I will follow Him all my days. He pulled me from hell! Literally all of this! If you knew my story you’d understand why I do what He says and I do what He does. I am a believer! I walk with God like Enoch and if you think I’m crazy you should meet Him. Many of you know Yeshua but you don’t know Yah. I’d love to be the one to introduce You! He is not Yeshua. Yeshua is love. Daddy is the mind of this operation and that makes me laugh. And nothing gets by Him. There is a lot I still don’t know and I’m learning. I don’t come with eloquent words of the world. I come with the truth. I will not lie. It’s an open door and I’ve slammed every door he had to my life closed with this trip. Many don’t understand any of this and that’s ok bc some of it I don’t either, but He shows me when we are almost done why He brought me this way. I’m so thankful. He molded me on this trip. He bent me, broke me, mended me, fixed me and molded me. He is the potter and I am His clay. I used to be like you. I used to celebrate all of these pagan hellidays. He changed me. He is the only One that ever could have! Some of yall knew old me but you don’t know new me! He has transformed me. He used this trip to do this and I love Him for it.
That is actually one of the best compliments anyone could ever give me. 2 Cor 5:13 my whole being is in His hands be careful what you say and if you have said anything please repent. I say this with my whole heart full of love towards you.

I can also put a scripture to everything I have said. I don’t come with eloquent words of the world but with the truth and demonstrating power. Oh that is just fabulous!! I am just so blessed You love me back. I fell a little too hard a little too fast. I’m just thankful You love me. I receive Your love. My God thank You! My soul is in Your Hands, all the love I have and I’m just lucky that You love me back. That’s song lyrics haha if You knew our story with music you’d laugh here. I have a whole playlist He used to brain wash me. I’m a TBI survivor, don’t forget, Yah had a blank slate with me. What world I got in the 12 years since I been back He has pulled out of me. So, you see telling me I’ve lost my mind is truly a compliment. What the enemy had meant for my bad as flipped automatically! I do praise You!

You should have tingles in your body if you’re still ready. My words are alive. They are spirit and life. They are lifting you to a higher vibrating. Demonstrating power. I’d say so. That’s pretty cool! I’m so glad You’re doing this and I’m just Your crazy driver. I’ll take it. I laid down this life and picked up His! This is so fabulous!! I’m so very excited to do life with You! I saw it. I saw apostle come forth today. Thank You! You did this too. My training has been fabulous! He prepared me for this that day He zapped me. It’s all in me. He’s already put it all in there. They just been pulling it out.

I got to put out (that used to be had to) about Christmas not being good today and had someone tell me I had lost my mind and not in a good way. I wanted to publicly express my gratitude but figured I’d better just do it here.

I woke up this morning and heard 3 days. Not only once did I hear this but twice.

I feel all over the place this morning. Like, in a funk but I don’t think this is me. I’ve been crying all day and I am nothing but grateful. Even the stuff I’m hearing to make me doubt 😂makes me laugh. I’ve been laughing at the warfare after crying it out.

While on my walk this morning the gas has went to 3.09 and it did that to me the last time before I left Arkansas. When I went back into Arkansas to get my things it was back at 2.99. Doubt can flock right off! Thank You for my authority and teaching me how to use it. I am mad that a petty little lower level demon got to me. What is up? Not you him. Well, this fast better do something. I absolutely will fast! I absolutely will! In fact I started one at 6:20 last night. After being on one meal a day for 3 days.

I see! I fight every day and I won’t quit, my heart has been back and blue and I haven’t walked away. I won’t do You that way! You’d have to come down here and talk to me to change my mind and we both know that! You command puts me in action. I do it bc I love You. Even when quit tries to taunt me I kept going. When everything was stacked against me, I kept going. When You told me to sell it all, I kept going. We go on $5 and we have went with $500 and $5000 – I’ve not changed and I’ve not not done something bc of money. I started this trip with $3500 and what They sent in. Now you can test me with 50,000 or 500k or 5M or 500M – it’s a tool You’re the Source of it and it’s Yours. I desire the necessities, essentials and always a toothbrush on hand. I know that will be crazy for some but I was stuck out on a boat for 3 days and had my purse but no toothbrush. That has not ever happened again!! I’ve had a toothbrush in my purse for 4 years. I may be caught off guard once but I learn from it each time.

I have some love and hate. I love being a brain injury survivor bc I don’t have the past. I’m grateful. I also hate being a severe TBI survivor bc people automatically think I’m stupid. This is why I asked for wisdom and not wealth. When I was with Yeshua He asked me what I wanted when I came out of this. I want wisdom. I want to be above the rest like Daniel. Second to Solomon. I wanted people to eat their words but now I just don’t care. I wanted people to go into judgement bc of me but then I saw it and cried out for their mercy. I didn’t want it anymore and I didn’t want to be anywhere near and He pulled me. I’m not.

I feel anxious on the inside of me and that shouldn’t be there. I felt like I was having a panic attack this morning …. I couldn’t breathe. I was bawling and crying bc doubt was trying to roam and I can’t let that demon get anywhere anyone of my people. Some only come out by prayer and fasting. I’ll do both gladly. We gotta have things turn around.

Drones, orbs knocking drones out of the sky, and today we have mutant sharks from a volcano erupting letting them loose from their natural habitat. My my my 😂
2024 has been a trip! Almost like a bad acid trip hahaha and I never did acid but I heard stories. Do you know how much trauma it took for this to all be funny?! 😁 I felt that little knock in my heart. Trauma I laugh at you and command you loose your hold now in the name of Yeshua. Whatever is in there I lay it down. It’s yours. I’m done! Trauma I judge you!!! You must repay everything you stole now in the name of Yeshua!! There’s the release I’m freezing. I cover my heart and everyone in You in the blood and I declare its healing power. Thank You Yeshua for your blood and Daddy I praise You for being a covenant keeping God! Thank You Daddy! I praise Yall for the blood! That’s done. That was immediately. I love You so much! Transform us. Finish us off. Pharaoh let My people go! All spirits of Pharaoh to dry places! The Red Sea just went down on you!
Fear of change up and out of My body now! HalleluYah! We praise You! We are brave, bold, and courageous for You. If the whole world comes against us we got You! I don’t give two flying flicks of wood ducks who likes me 😂 ha that’s funny 😄 there was a part of me that was outspoken, bold and courageous to her bones. She’s back. Haha I see why You held off on her so long haha I had to have mass amounts of compassion first bc I didn’t understand and I do now. I have been put in their shoes and I’m honest with myself. I am His daughter. He called me His to me the other day and I needed to hear that. I’ve been standing on Galatians 6:9 for a few years bit hard core the last several weeks. I have felt myself grow tired and I had to get that verse in me to reverse my feelings.
If we don’t give up. I’m glad there ain’t no quit in me. You told me some things and I know You. I know You! I am proud to be able to say that. There was a time in my life I only knew about You and now I know know You, intimately, for myself.
We are coming off the mount of transformation with this moon. Finish tranforming us from the ground up! My God thank You! Restore us to former youth! We are gonna be here a while we need to age backwards. I see these changes took place in me immediately. Thank You! I love You so much!

I can’t even believe You’d test me with leaving You. You are more important than anything You promised me. That’s why I gave it All back to you and put every promise on the altar! An altar of fire, of praise, of love. I put everything on the altar what They do from there is on them. I believe Them for a ram in the bush.

Some may go low but I go high! I’m going up an over and praying down making it change!!

All seeds of doubt shrivel up and die now in the name of Yeshua. Fire. Light it up Holy Spirit so there is no residue.
Help us be really creative with our words so we stop accidentally cursing ourselves. I break all word curses now in the name of Yeshua. Should we have cursed ourselves we ask for forgiveness and retract all idle words where nothing is born of them in the spirit or the natural. Thank You Abba! Thank You!

Snap snap clap. I had to reset my nervous system here.

I break the generational curse over marriage now in the name of Yeshua. Any demon attempting to operate behind this curse must go now in the name of Yeshua. I’ll chase ya down! Don’t play with me! I uproot everything the curse did and command any seed shrivel up and die to never rise again in thought, will or emotion. I reset the dna where it as if it never happened and never had access to this body! Amen! Thank You Abba! Fire!! Fire holt spirit. Full permission!! Full permission! One! We are one!! Everyone is getting some fire today. We are all one! I was seeing a huge light w a bunch of strings coming from it. Spirit. Spirit is consciousness.

I have learned I am not to fond of cats. Some days they irritate me more than others lol and I can tolerate them but they are not my favorite animal. I have learned I don’t care for any unless they stay outside. I throw pens at these cats for being on the counter. No! It may just be my rule but they have to learn. They are conscious and not stupid even tho they wanna act like it and if we were to out princess each other I’m winning. Stubborn. That animal is gonna listen to me. Authority and dominion. I walk in both! I understand! I understand the Genesis mandate. I understand!

There was supposed to be another snow storm here today but it’s not gonna happen. The temps were getting pretty low too and if I’m here I can’t. I’m done. I expect it to be warm enough for me to function and not hurt at all. I expect perfect weather in season and out wherever I am at. All the snow from the other day has melted it’s been so warm and I praise You!

I need You to come running for me. Yah runs one time in the Bible, towards the prodigal coming home. I’m not a prodigal, I have been but not anymore and I need You to run to me. I don’t know how much more I have in me. Something has to break. I’m worth more! I am a queen living in lo-debar. You owe me nothing, but I’d like to remind You that You promised. This was all done bc I followed You. I need You to rescue me!! I know to be patient and I have been. It’s been well over Your 90 days. You promised me 100 fold return, homes in this realm, family and the ability to help. I’ve been in hard core training for 6 years how much more do You think I need? I’m seriously irritated!! I have been packed for months ready to go and everything was packed Friday bc I felt like it was time and nothing. I’m so sick of hope deferred and You said no more delay. You said 3 days! Have I not shown You? I am seriously furious with You right now. I left $500 an hour and sold everything bc I love You and I feel so unloved right now. I know we have done You this way and I’ve felt that. I’m not You! I have done everything You’ve asked of me and tried to do more bc I know it needs done. I feel like when you go in asking for a raise and they don’t appreciate you so you want to walk out and not ever look back. Like quitting a job but I can’t and I can’t bc I love You. I’m mad at You right now tho! I do love You and I don’t like being mad at You. You’ve done so much for me and I owe You. I forgive You and thanks! This is a lot of conflicting emotions but I can’t even think quit. It’s not in me. I feel it and I banish it. I will never leave You or forsake You. I lay it down. I love You more than my life. I give it all to You! Idk what else I need to surrender, I heard that and idk what I have left!! I seriously don’t have anything else to give. I don’t have any doubt. I don’t have any fear. I don’t have any insecurities about any of this. I ask for You to show me and download the solution or just do it. You don’t even have to show me.

I saw myself pushing last night and everything felt like it was going wrong. I saw the doc walk in and I was begging just get it out. I can’t. Take it. Begging Daddy for a csrction. I went to sleep and have no idea what happened. I have been up since 2 and still nothing. I guess I had to get rid of the anger towards You. I do. I feel lied to. I don’t like that. I hate it actually. Forgive me. Forgive me for whining. I kinda feel like I can’t please You or anyone else. I feel forgotten. I need You to fill me up. You promised to give me the strength to continue, You promised! I’m tired. I’m gonna take a nap. Fix this while I sleep, please.

I can’t quit. I don’t have anything or anyone except You. You’re literally all I have and seriously I’m good with You but You promised me stability and family. I need that. And I know the planets are aligned in my favor so if there be anything in me I need to surrender I give it. I give You everything. Idk what else I need to hand over but it’s Yours. Show me. If you’re seeing if I’ll leave You, You know better. I still do everything You ask around anyone. I don’t hold back and I am here for You not me and You know it.

I do care. I care about everything. I want to fix everything and when others hurt I hurt. I don’t like seeing anyone in pain.

I’m going to take a nap. It’s 444 and I saw 222, 333, 432 and 321 and 411. Been seeing a lot of synchronicities like this. I know the time is now. I know this so what is the holdup? I’ve burnt everything I can think of and any mountain I’ve bull dozed down. What else is there? We even went up against some Egyptian gods in the spirit the other day in a sneak attack. I don’t know what else You want before You take me to so come comfort. I deserve comfort. I deserve a bed!! It does make me want to cry. I deserve a real bed. I’m tired of sleeping on a bean bag. I seriously do not know what else You want from me. I need to take a nap the more I think of this situation the madder I get and then I get sad bc I am so thankful and grateful to be here and I feel like a whiner and I don’t want to be and I don’t want to complain. You see this mess!! Fix it!! It’s sad. This just made my heart sad. She loves You and doesn’t feel You love her back. my feelings are hurt, big time. Laila tov I love you

Congratulations Daughter!! Congratulations!!
His favor surrounds you as a shield! Psalm 5:12

Favor has went before you and secured everything! Favor has secured property, cars, money. Favor is not fair and you’re covered. Favor surrounds you on all sides!

Inheritance… you share as a joint heir in Christ and He is about to show you what His life should have been like! Oh that’s gonna make me cry. I’m so grateful. I’m so grateful! I have been terrified of failing You, of messing up. Thanks for removing that from me and giving me grace. Thanks for removing all my fears, thank You! Thank You for the spirit of bravery and courage and the spirit of adoption. I keep seeing adoption laws. I need to look this up and refresh my memory, I think it has to do with their inheritance. They are equal when it comes to inheritance. Whether born into the family or adopted. That is a perk in the Kingdom! Spirit of adoption! Daughter of Yah! Congratulations Daughter!!