Be Still & Shut up

We are all a slave to something. Either it is God or our sins. I am stepping out in faith big time writing this! I really do not like all this hell, fire and brimstone stuff. I love the Lord and want to share all of His good but there are so many that already do that. He has done so much for me and I am so in love w Him. I am sharing His goodness bc I should be dead and in hell. He saved me from hell so I could teach you how to save yourself. I was sifted for 7 years. Satan should have taken me out when he had the chance because I’m coming for everything he stole!!

My fire has been restored! I want to teach y’all how to decipher His messages. I want to teach y’all how to kick stans ass! He has so many goons and what is crazy is the Bible tells us about them. Spirits and fallen angels are all around you. It’s kinda like when they see us from Heaven they see light or dark; Jesus is the light of the earth. He is the light of our life and once we accept Him He gives us His seal. His seal is our light!! We are nothing without He! Believe me when I tell ya this bc he has shown me what can be accomplished with Him. I’m so excited for 2020! Tomorrow is a whole new day through Him and with Him raising me up. It’s like the coolest thing ever but it has been most painful. I had to face everything I hadn’t really forgiven, forgotten, and died to. It was excruciating reliving all of that pain and I have cried a million tears over the last 7 years. I’ve never known such pain and how people think you are insane because of your brain injury. Some actually begin to learn about the brain and can now see God was surely with me bc I should not be where I am medically. I have been shocking docs since I came out of the coma. That is such a wow God moment! What He has done for me is amazing! I am privileged to meet my grands!! I should not have seen any past my oldest. It was that bad!! Oh, it was that bad. God has shown me what my life would be like without Him and I never want to even imagine that again. Without God is hell. Hell is the complete absence of God. I never want to feel that or have anyone connected to me have to see or experience that place. Figuratively and literally hell is so real. I’ve said this before but idk how many were paying attention and ya need to. Hell is without God. You are without Him here too but we don’t have to be. Even the most fearless atheist needs to know that he doesn’t really want to spend eternity in hell. I feel like I came back to scare the hell out of everyone…. lmbo, God is hilarious!!

Why? Why me for hell fire and brimstone?! 😂 I understand that world better than most because I saw it. I was driving down my own road to Damascus when God showed me what it looks like when He looks down from heaven onto us. I saw the light and the dark. I saw satan and his goons and I am pissed about this! I am mad at satan!! He must get off my people. I am glad all of this happened to me, now. I was extremely mad at God for taking my memories. I praise Him now bc my torment would have been so much fiercer than it was. I have been tormented to extremes. I wrestle satan in my sleep and wake up with new bruises. Yep, I know how that sounds… 🙄 I know what I would think if I read this crap if it were not happening to me! I know it happens to others they just don’t talk about it. There are kids seeing demons bc we don’t know how to fight that battle. We forgot our first love! Prayer saves everything!!! He wants us to talk to Him and bind those spirits … man are they rampant in the USA!! If you aren’t praying for your country, it’s leaders and it’s Christian unity you need to be. We need to throw religion right out in the water and walk into being Kings kids with the faith that lifts the death! Because death is not God’s will Satan is the prince of death and owns it. With this being true death is a spirit that can be rebuked. The Bible tells us that this was said. If it is God’s will we can lift the dead.

Hebrews 6 says we can lift the death with faith. 2 of the doctrine of baptisms, of laying on of hands, of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgment.

3 And this we will do if God permits. – Hebrews 6:2-3

By Gloif it is God’s wil. How cool is that? It is about our faith and it not wavering. Satan throws many darts from hell to try and separate you from Jesus. It’s so simple that we are always at war and we have to become better warriors.

All prophets are intercessors but not all intercessors are prophets. Everyone wants the ability to prophesy and it is there’s. Do you really want that office? Do you want the office of the prophet. Yes, yes I want it. It is in my heart to be your slave and work for You. Teach me your ways and show me what to read and study to get this. Please forgive my disobedience and help me get to work. I’m sorry for being stubborn and hard headed. It really took me all year to get right here where I can decide if I want this or if I want the life I had when I wrecked. Everything is a choice and I choose Him! I choose working for God and I will leave everything behind. I am happiest with Jesus and in His presence. Idk how to share this yet lol and sometimes I really just don’t want to .. lol it’s hilarious that I am hesitant to share my gifts by laying on of hands. I don’t understand that one and this is prolly way long …

Hebrews 4:2 we have had the good news of deliverance just as they did, yet they didn’t join their faith with the word. Instead, what they heard didn’t affect them deeply, for they doubted. This is telling us to grow up in our faith and step out in faith for His promises to be activated. Don’t you want everything He has for you? Yes! I want everything He is willing to show me. Everything He is willing to bless me with. I want all of Him to fill me up. I want to walk in the spirit all the time- this is the best thing I have ever felt. I do love Him more than anyone or anything and I have never been this way before. There was always a somewhat in front of Him but that isn’t the case any longer. I am just hard headed and have really been wrestling w Him on this hell fire and brimstone stuff. I have known this since summer but didn’t want to do it and I am doing it bc He is forcing me. He wants this story out and I have been struggling w looking crazy. I laugh at this too Bc I think He enjoys making me look crazy. I mean I can see the spirits all around people. This is a huge change in my life… signs, wonders and miracles- get ready. Some of y’all can see the angels as you activate them and some of y’all can see demons hovering around you. No, matter what you’ve seen before it will be opened in a totally different way when your spiritual eyes are working and on. Activate them bc it’ll change your life. I prayed for them to be opened in a Facebook video – Melissa Sheriff.

I see why God chose Facebook. I would have never come out about everything on Facebook. I am not proud of things in my past but they were all lessons turned to blessings. I can see my punishment and my gifts here from Jesus. He does punish His kids bc we have to learn not to do those things again. There are things i have done in my past that I will never do again. I know who I am and who I am through Christ. I will not ever let Him down like that again. If it takes me being single for the rest of my life so I can focus on Him- I’m ok w that. I liked being married when I had kids but now… I’m not so sure I’d like being married anymore. I am scared to get married bc of things said to me by someone who wanted to marry me. If I am not good enough and he doesn’t even try to tell me I’ll always be good enough for him I don’t want to be around all that negativity. I’ve learned I cannot change people or make them act right and they are not always my battle.

God laid me down so we could go over all of this. There is a lot to do before the new year! 2020 is gonna be lit! I am so excited for God! He is going to really shine next year! He is about to show Himself through some pretty cool people. Post a proverb a day ! Yes, sir. He has been on me about helping others get in the word. One small verse outloud activates your angel. Trust me you need all your angels around you and the spirits of God.

Knowledge and understanding

Wisdom

Peace

Truth

Strength

Patience

Faith – these are the spirits of the Lord we want to come and surround us. I ask God to place Him around and in us so thickly we cannot go against His spirit.

I bind the spirits of division, racism, famine, war, hate, slumber, depression, anger, lust, anxiety, guilt, chaos, confusion, disbelief, ignorance, discord, heaviness, lying, bitterness, petty spirits and I loose them off of us to return to hell where they belong. Should we come in contact with anyone carrying these spirits may we be able to spot it and cast it out immediately. Teach us to fight back and win, Lord. Teach us to shut up and rest in You and Your power.

Praise Him folks. Get you some praise music and worship Him more than 15 mins to a song, you’re dead singing in church. Get up off your butts and worship the Lord! Thank Him for what He has done for you!!

This office comes with much pain but you can get through it and we all need you to! God has shown me so many of y’all going through this process too. I check on y’all and pray for you everyday.

Don’t worry, I didn’t believe all this stuff at first, either. I was prolly one of Gods biggest critics several times in my life. I am not proud of that I just didn’t know Him. I know He is a person that is God. It’s the best thing ever to know He walks w me but on water too. I am His friend and He is all I need. Teaching is like a whole job tho bc I am terrified I’m going to mess up. That is why I like writing. I have to write with intent and idk if I trust my old self with going live yet … lol. Ok this is how I work through my problems. God is live right now with the words I type. I know when He is in charge in my writings. This is how I know what it felt like for the Bible to be God-breathed. Idk why He chose me for this … He is hilarious bc I am so not worthy! I am nobody … a small town girl from Arkansas lol. What He is about to do with me is about to be done so fast it makes my head spin. Ok… I’m calm but excited and down w this. I am just your vessel, let’s have some fun and look full on crazy lol. Boy, wow at 2020! This used to make me want to have a panic attack but I’m ok now.

I can’t be a moderation person. This is why I had to stop people, drinking, things I really liked doing to sin. I can’t have a beer but I don’t think one beer is gonna send anyone to hell. I don’t really care about drinking since getting older … that hangover is a beast that I do not wanna deal with ever again. There is a not a drug like the Holy Spirit though. I Will evangelize daily for this! Never forget your first love! The letter was to the Ephesians… I messed up and said laodiceans (something like that.) I need more bible knowledge… yes, sir. I know to study on my own. No It was in Ephesus where witchcraft was so rampant. Witchcraft is of the devil. I have dabbled in this and it’s all of hate. If you loved someone you’d never want to put a spell on them to do what you wanted. This is selfishness! Selfish people are not working for God. This is how He tells me who to watch out for. If I run into someone that is selfish I’m supposed to use the gift of exhortation to remedy this. In end times fathers hearts restored to their children and children to their fathers. Oh, here we go again w this end times stuff. I don’t like knowing the future or what is going to go down. It’s kinda scary because He is gonna make me put what He shows me out there, eventually. If my discernment is off one bit I feel doomed. That extra judgment is a bit scary… I want to be told “well done my good and faithful servant” when I arrive at the gates of Heaven next time.

Faith is everything to God and without faith we cannot please Him. I have faith in God that He will not allow me to fail bc these are His people and His plan. I have to prove my faith by stepping out in it bc God brings it all back home. He is handing me my keys of authority. Oh wow!! Oh wow Jesus! I praise you!! I have never in my life wanted to worship a man like I do Jesus. He shows me the true meaning of love and there isn’t a love like His. I am picky!! I am picky about my shoes and they just go on my feet…. a relationship scares me. I am scared I’ll lose my first love bc Idk balance yet. I’m just a teenage lol. Had to grow up fast that last 7 years… #HardFacts.

I’ll be 8 in July maybe I’ll be old enough to have a boyfriend then lol. It’s not hard to tell if I’m not ready bc I work w God all day and I won’t be able to give Him up. Idk how! I’m ok w not knowing how! I’m happy w Jesus!! I’m happy being alone but I don’t think my flesh understands this yet and that is why it’s eating it’s feelings lol she has never really been alone and I had to learn. I was single for my if my life but only bc I was a runner. I ran from my problems but they didn’t want to be married to me either. I was not the easiest person to deal with bc I put my kids first. when it should have been God, marriage and then my kids. I have never been able to share loyalties. If I picked a man over my kids I was turning into my mother. That was not going to happen! I am glad I am not with any of them and that it didn’t work. It brought me where I am and He has always taken care of us.

I really did not know when this blogging all of this was going to happen but I felt it would. It’s so odd how God does that. He has been preparing my heart and trying to get my character in check for the blessings about to be poured on me. I am so not worthy! I am really just a nobody! I without hesitation know what I was raised around. I know what I come from and it all made me a survivor. There are people with worse things happen in their childhood than in mine. Mine wasn’t perfect but I had a pretty great one ! Us cousins were like brothers and sisters and I didn’t know any different than a close family. We were close knit and that all changed when my grandpa and then my aunt died. This wrecked my family and then my gramma died – I was actually glad she finally let go and let God take her home. She was pretty sick at the end. I miss her every day of my life but I don’t want her to suffer bc of my selfishness of wanting to keep her here. Maybe that explains it better/ she had given up and we couldn’t fix her or give her the desire to get better. She was ready but held on to some guilt she had to let go of. I felt when she left this world and I told John she had just died. I felt it. I felt it hard for her to breathe and her kidneys hurting. Idk why I am having to go here but there is something I need to deal with. I was still mad at Betsy bc I didn’t go to the funeral bc she started crap w me. I don’t remember what or how petty it was but she needed to check herself. She use to stick her nose where it didn’t belong but I think she has learned. I could have went anyway it just wouldn’t have been a day of peace and I wasn’t going to allow anyone to steal that from me. I was at peace w my grammas death and I knew before hand she was going to die that Saturday. I was there with her and I saw it. We said our goodbyes and I believe we both knew. I believe they know when they are going to go. I had to tell Betsy if she wanted to see her mom alive she needed to get here bc we were praying her out of here Saturday. I didn’t pray w my gramma bc I was so scared she would die. I will never be disobedient another time in my life. There are so many things that flash through me right now and that is the seed of doubt. Don’t ever let it make you doubt yourself.

So, I just danced 4 songs w Jesus. I love dancing in the spirit but I stopped bc I was beginning to see the future and it scared me. Tonight I just danced with no fear so I could return to my first love. Jesus, may I have the next dance? I ask you to come back to me fully and restore all of me. Make me who you need me to be for Your Kingdom!! I surrender. I give you my all. I am going to fast and pray the next 3 days of this year and if He allows not post anywhere. I need this time just me and Him to see where we go next. I got 3 days to prepare for an immediate change. I have no idea what this all consists of but I’m sure He is gonna let me know real soon. I’m going to bed… goodnight and God bless. Please keep me in your prayers … I sound like a lunatic. Maybe that is why He wanted me to get a degree in law. I was supposed to go to law school and help change the cj system but there are some actively trying to change it. I will still do my part for sure when I am in the situation to make positive changes for our country. This is such a huge responsibility, helping get laws changed. We don’t just need reform we need real change. It truly takes us all to pray it will happen. Why wouldn’t we pray for our people to change bc we don’t want them to die right now they’d be doomed to hell. God never takes something He gives you but you can surely walk away from Him. Being absent of God is being in hell… y’all I’ll be honest. I was so scared I sold out to Satan at a weak moment but u never did bc I do have a genuine love for Christ. I wasn’t the worst but definitely wasn’t one of the best and I went to hell. Do you even want to risk it? See this is not what I ever want. I don’t want people to be scared of God. I didn’t want pastors to use hell fire and brimstone bc it doesn’t tell how good God it is but it does. Jesus came to the gates of hell for me and snatched me out of there. He is trying to do the same for you no matter what you’ve got yourself into. What have you really got to lose? Give Him 30 days of active praise and worship with an intentional seeking Him relationship. He changes you slowly if you don’t adapt well to change, He is such a gentleman! I wish He had abruptly changed me – like He will some but I had to clean up my heart. I had to grow up too. I had to forgive the people that had hurt me the most. Everything that I had to get over came spilling out of me and towards the one that hurt me. I had to forgive for real. I know most of them did too and I know the ones that didn’t. Those that didn’t used to hurt me but not now bc I didn’t do anything but go away to heal bc I was hated. I am still being hated bc they are in their feelings about a situation. God has shown me to not worry about it it isn’t my battle. Not everyone you care for are your battle. You can pray the same for everyone but faith is a determining factor. I have had this come up before but I never work through this. I’m scared of an answer about healing hands I’ve had. Is their healing partly determined by the faith of the healer and then the faith of the one being healed. Are there layers to healing and receiving healing?

Victory is here! God is doing a new thing. I’m getting ready for overflow. I’m getting ready to see so many things I’ve never seen. I’m getting ready to see things I’ve never seen. Get ready for overflow and the devil is scared.

While you was trying to pull me down I leveled up! I got the power of life and death coming out my tongue. I love that song! God talks to me w music depending on what we are doing over that day. Today is grow up and all the lessons are and the music. Growing in faith, obedience, love, trust, grace and wisdom of all knowledge and understanding. I have seen Him speak through me to folks and it is so weird bc I don’t even get a chance to say anything it just comes out. Ears haven’t heard the kinds of blessings that are about to fall on me. Victory is here. I’m ready for a new thing. I’m ready for overflow. Gods doing a new thing. You’ve been fasting and praying and gods doing a new thing. Get ready for overflow. I claim it! I receive it. I declare and decree it over us.

I need to research that, this declaring, decreeing and the prophetic key the next 3 days bc I’m walking into 2020 w outstandingness! It’s time to shine your light and let the whole world see. Fill my life again. I surrender. My God is mighty to save. Some of y’all are fighting demons. Please know you need to pray your way out of this. Pray for God to remove every spirit around you that isn’t of Him. I pray for Him to show us what they are and we will bind them at once. Don’t be scared He is always with you! He is gonna be holding your hand but you aren’t a brain injured little girl anymore. You are His little lady and you need to act like it. Remember who you are and reintroduce everyone to her. You’re gonna be ok. Look to the Bible and those that have been through this. Being a disciple of the Lord is a process and we are all called to be disciples.

I really want to switch screens but He won’t let me. I want to post this blog and be done with it but that isn’t happening either. I am getting sleepy though so we gotta get through this.

I am very thankful for my friends who have become my family. I should have been homeless and be starving to death a few times. God has told people to help and who to help me. I guess I’m supposed to be more thankful to Jeff instead of blaming him. I lost everything so God could humble me. It is just the way it happened and it is not his fault for being a douche. See, I am not over this prenup crap. I can’t forgive him for that bc of how badly it hurt me. I forgive him God but I don’t want him apart if my life anymore. Not in a relationship kind of way but as friends I can maybe stand to be around him. I’m not sure yet. Idk how to separate his arrogance and narcissistic personality disorder. I can’t be around that!! I can’t be around negativity. Do everything as if you’re doing it for God. I’m so excited about the future and I don’t get excited. I’m going to bed now. He had to kill that little bit of flesh left behind self doubt. Thanks Father! Thank you!!

Every second that we live things change. Change isn’t easy for everyone, I was fine with change until my brain injury. I didn’t understand those that didn’t adapt to change well until I was forced to live in difficult situations of change. I have one child that is like I used to be and goes with the flow. I have another child that doesn’t adapt well and I never understood this until now. We are just all different but made to enhance others.

Change is inevitable and we cannot make it easier for others to deal with or fix them; as much as we want to. I cannot make my children deal with things like I think they should. I can tell them it will work out all day long but until their relationship with Jesus flourishes will they see this for themselves. I can pray for them but I cannot change their hearts or their minds. That is the hardest thing for me, as a mom, because I want to make everything pleasurable for them and to help them see the beauty in everything. Every storm does have some beauty and after there is the rainbow. During these storms we tend to forget the happy times and focus on the rain dripping on us. Perhaps your storm has mud puddles you need to jump in instead of wanting to hover over them. We are called to live in the moment, praise Him in everything and we should. Is it hard? Well, absolutely!! I still get pissed at certain changes I can’t do anything about. I am a mere mortal… ugh, the heartache that comes with being human. I’ve wanted to be a bird so I could fly. I’ve wanted to be a lawnmower so I could clip things that needed cut. (Change people and prune their ugly) We think if we can change the things around us that we can make it all better. That is quite laughable in this season! Why? Because it took me my entire life to realize I cannot change anyone but me! I know who I want and who I don’t want to be around. Separating myself from those that grate my last nerve is hard! Removing family, friends and people I thought loved me is never an easy decision but it can be the best one we ever make.

Change. Change is hard! I have examined my heart over 2019 and changed what I didn’t like about myself. I am no longer broken by life or by brain injury. I only have God to thank! My healing is because of my faith and it not wavering. Do I still have days I want to curl up in my bed and not deal with life? You betcha! Do I? Well, to be honest… yes! I am human! To my own detriment I am human … lol. If you have seen the bodies we get when we die and how much it can do you wouldn’t really want to be a mere mortal either. Just because I want my new body doesn’t mean I don’t love the one I have now. Please, don’t ever read too much into what I say like that. When I talk about death it doesn’t necessarily mean I want to leave my family through death but that I am Himsick. We live in a generation that likes to add or take away from things and you can’t do that in my writing, or my speaking for that matter. I am a pretty literal person and I wasn’t until I died. I didn’t see things in black and white but instead with vibrant colors and what it could be. Don’t get me wrong, I can still see things in a ton of different perspectives and I am open to change but it has taken me seven years to get here. I was put in so many situations, in TBI land, that it opened my eyes to a world I didn’t even know existed. I see and believe in so many things I never did before. Angels? Yes, I believed God has His angels. Did I really believe that when we quoted scripture we activated our own angels? Nope! Not until I saw them. It is true that one person can put angels into flight… don’t you want your angels? Don’t you want them around you? Trust me when I say they help with your battles. God has helpers and you are one of them too.

He needs help here amongst the dead. We are to show them how to live in Christ. It is true that we are dead until we know Him. I know I was so I can tell you the difference. I have been in hell, been put through hell and I know how to beat hell! Hell is your absence of God. Sounds simple, huh? The cure is simplistic but at the same time daunting bc they make it so much harder than it has to be. I, too, am a stupid human and there is much I don’t understand but I know who created everything and everyone. He is not hard to love or get to know. Just because I can’t change things around me doesn’t mean I can’t fix things. I can fix anything but people. Duct tape works wonders 😏. Well, it does and it can fix almost anything. Unfortunately, I can’t put duct tape over folks mouths. I sure wish I could though! I wish I could make people understand what 2020 means and how we really feel is coming out of our mouths. If you don’t want to be around someone bc of their actions you’re about to tell them… does it come out harsh, brash or with kindness? That is up to you and the change you allow to take place in your heart. Only God can accomplish this change! Once it is set in motion and things start to come to light from your past you must deal with them and heal your heart. I cant be responsible for your change or how you handle it I was just sent back to help you get through it. Am I glad to be back here? Yes! Every day I get to live is a blessing. Every chance I get to write here is a great day! This is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it. Praise Him in your storms bc all storms eventually run out of rain. Does that make it easier to deal with everything put in your life? Perhaps but realistically we decide how to deal with change because everything comes with a choice.

How we evolve and adapt to change is on us. I move forward even when I don’t want to but I now know Christ is on the inside of me helping me. The Holy Spirit was sent to help us. We are His vessel! This was so hard for me to understand or feel until I met Jesus and experienced the Holy Spirit.

He is my comfort. He is my love. He is my vision. He is my joy. He is my hugs when I cry. He is my laughter when I want to be mad. He is my world but I have to renew this daily. Every relationship we have has to be kept up and in check. He is no different. Writing about Him helps me work on this relationship because I see in black and white (some peoples only means of logic) what He has done and what He does every day for and with me. This writing through me has been going on all year but it took me like 8 months to figure it out… see, stupid human mortal here. Why would it ever take an intelligent person, and I believe I am intelligent, 8 months to be dumbed down by God? To figure out the Holy Spirit is writing through me. I understand what Paul meant about the Bible being God breathed. Straight up all I wanted to do was write and spend time with God. I was missing life that He gave back. I have to teach bc it keeps me social because, for real, I would be a recluse. I have stuff written down that concerns politics and I don’t even follow them anymore bc it was making me so angry I didn’t know how to channel it. Y’all, the United States is in trouble and God is not too happy w us. This climate change stuff makes me laugh… um, did y’all forget who made this earth? He controls the weather… do y’all not study bible prophecy? Y’all better get ready bc we are in for an awakening. That is kinda scary; I have writings with other countries involved. I think we may be coming in to our end times. God can lift the dead and He is the only one that does this. Apparently this will mean something bc God wants us to know when we see this the revival is here. God is gonna lift the dead here in America. This could be a literal resurrection of the dead or a resurrection of the church – I’m not sure that He isn’t gonna do both. Do you know each day He doesn’t come back is for you to help gain more souls for the Kingdom? We really gotta get busy if we don’t want to see folks in hell. I went to hell when I died and there are others that have been there too!! It is real and I don’t want anyone to ever see those gates again!

This takes so much it’s like a whole job lol. I study all day and fight satans relentless attacks. I finally learned how to discern the spirits in August. I know who the liar is and so do you. Every time you hear anything inside you about not loving yourself, anxiety, depression, you aren’t good enough it’s satan and his attack. Send him back to hell and get him out of your house!! He must get back and get down beneath my feet! He will get out of my families houses!! He will get out of my country and our leaders. Every spirit not of God will detach from my people.

God is who puts people where they need to be. He is the maker of kings and all leaders. We are in His way and He is mad at the USA. Look at all this crazy in our borders that should have never been here. Everyone that is flirting w Stan is ok with all of this. Once you get satan completely out of your life and kill your flesh you see it’s all in shambles. I didn’t know how bad until God showed me. It doesn’t have to do w a political party this has to do w people leaving their first love. He is supposed to be our first love- this is like the letter to the Laodecians (something like that) – I think it’s something like that. It is in Revelation in the letters to the churches.

Ok, let’s work through some of this over the next few weeks. It usually takes me a few weeks to figure out what He means. I gotta go study so I can teach it. This is so weird to me and idk when I’ll honestly get to this bc it does scare me but I gotta quit that bc we need to know what to do and how to survive it.

This is gonna have to do w predictions in the future and it scares me. I’m gonna need some people lifting me up in prayers, please. I had no idea this was what change was going to be like when I started this today. He has been doing this for months, if you’ve been following this on Facebook you’ve watched it, and I always quit right here and work on something else. This is why I quit dancing. I started to see the future and I guess it wasn’t what I thought it should be or what I wanted so I quit wanting to see. He laid me down the other day to show me, I will hurt in my legs, my thorn, to make me be still and shut up. God cracks me up how He has all control over me. I really love it but it makes me look insane lmbo. I am a sinner that is saved by a ton of His grace! This is living and I’m gonna get to predict the future and send millions to Him. This is really a privilege and I thank Him so eagerly and w earnest humility bc I am so not worthy. I was a wretched person but everything I survived made me me! It makes you you too. Don’t ever be sorry for your past or your mistakes bc someone out there needs you and your story of survival to get to their own. We are social creatures by nature and we need that interaction. We often times choose toxic people on our quest for self love and an identify. You can find every ounce of those in Jesus. And, we are supposed to. He is supposed to be the relationship we work on first and the most. How can you be a good parent without God? You can’t bc you raise hellions nobody wants to be around. You have to keep the demons off your kids and that takes prayer. Those spirits are whispering in their ears too- look at these teens dying of suicide. It’s heartbreaking! We shouldn’t even have this kind of crazy here in the USA but we are breeding it so everyone can fall in line. I believe we are a modern day Babylon and it will fall! A house divided will not stated. A house without God is built on sand. Do you know that in the biblical and literal sense? God is a pretty literal person. If you build your house on sand it sinks. I’ve had a house sink that was built upon sand, literally. It had a slope in it so bad the bathtub wouldn’t drain unless you moved the water to the drain side of it; the water pooled. I try to make everything easy to understand but if you don’t get it please contact me bc it may be something I need to see again. There are many things I miss bc I pray to know everything I forgot and wise beyond all wisdom. The wisdom I am gaining more of my memories back not so much. I think it is because I’ve prayed to just let go and it’s all ok that I can’t remember. I can remember everything from when He woke me up to today in great detail. I know everything and why it all happened but I’m ok without seeing it again. We always remember the bad bc it takes so much longer for us to process. Processing things time time and over that time we can see things differently or badly. I choose to see them differently and through another lens than mine natural eyes.

There are things I get so mad about but to hear another person harp on it I can only laugh. I see how stupid I sounded before I took it all to God. If you aren’t praying about it you shouldn’t be talking about it. I see all these people talking bad about our Prez and that let’s me know they aren’t praying for him. You can’t stay mad at them or God if you’re praying!! Give Him 30 days to fix you, heal you, love you back to life, and allow Him to give you your get out of hell free card. I can’t say it won’t be a tough process but maybe you weren’t as bad as me and it’ll be easy for you. If you are embarrassed or regret some of your past just deal with it when God sticks that vision of that memory in your head. Once you deal with it and can talk about it without losing your shit you are healed from it. And Satan cannot use it against you anymore. Get the spirit of shame off of you once and for all.

He is still delivering me from me every day of my life. I praise Him! He saved me, someone like me. If He can do it for me He can change anyone and He wants to. The first thing you gotta do is pray. Accept Him and then get in His Word.

If you think you can live by those 2 commandments and not sin you are crazy!! It’s impossible not to sin and some of us need laws. We need structure ! If you love others as you love yourself you are not gonna kill them bc you, in fact, do not want to die. We are to love God more than we love ourselves but people don’t. They are full of themselves, look at this selfie world we live in. I’m not picking on anyone here, especially the ones they take 5000 pics for the attention it lends them. Why do you need anyone else’s approval ? You are beautiful !! Own who you are through Christ and stop letting the world dictate your self worth.

Yep, I know this blog has went all over the place but if you don’t think this is change for me …. you haven’t been paying attention! Change can be good! Sometimes the trash takes out itself and we become free of havoc. Rejection is God’s protection! Let it go! Let them go! Rest in the love of Jesus Christ. His love is perfection and like living in your own zip code. I want my own zip code based on my bday. That is love and I bet someone’s zip code is based on someone elses birthday. It’s just the coolest gesture that could be accomplished. I would take my own ranch w a log cabin and a lake as my zip code lol. A few hands that are paid generously and they are all TBI survivors that love the work and Christ. They were saved and left behind to tell their story. I dont care how good neuro medicine is getting- most places do not have docs that just perform brain surgery on everyone. And people w multiple brain bleeds die! Or they are vegetables for the rest of their lives. God sent us all back and has a mission for all of His kids. These kids are different though and it’s because people think they are dumb bc they have brain damage but you better believe they aren’t. God can wake everyone up that is sleeping. Wake up and get in the Word of God. Find a Bible you can understand. Borrow it, download it, have someone read it to you – go to church!! Even if you don’t need to be taught every little thing you do need to hear it in a different perspective! We all need Bible college with Jesus the first teacher but we also need it from His teachers on earth. Everything is a choice and everything we do is a choice. If you call me to vent I’m gonna vent w ya …. I used to but now nothing bothers me or you’d never see it. I haven’t taken everything that could ever get under my skin and prayed for it and prayed for it to not shake me. This change has taken years to be answered and He is still molding me. We are all a work in progress. God works on His time not ours. Some of what happens to us for for the betterment of mankind so we just gotta suck it up.

I have been wrestling with God about this post for 2 hours. I am not going back up and reading all of this to correct it. I am not perfect. I make grammatical errors and I stick my foot in my mouth. I am posting this bc I don’t feel good and I really want to just take a good nap. Enjoy your day and may God bless you tremendously.

Going in to this writing I must wonder why God wants me to write about trust. I have serious trust issues and I always have but there is one I can lay it all down to – Him. I can give Him all my bad, anger, meanness and He will never forsake me. He doesn’t either! I have been taught that I can trust God for my every need.

Our needs aren’t just for tangible things or gifts but for spiritual growth and cleansing. It was impossible for me to trust God with anything bc I had been burnt so many times by people. I still have trust issues when it comes to people but not Jesus. He is my rock! My bad fades the more I reach for Him. I cannot and do not lean on my own understanding, I am a mere stupid mortal. We all are but there is beauty in being stupid and growing into wise people of God.

The process of the healing that must take place in order for us to come to Him without reservations is hard. I can understand why so many quit midway through because it is easier to just be like you were. Change is hard!

He is just so proud of us!! We are His kids! We are King’s kids! If you’re having problems trusting God, especially if you’re mad at Him… talk to Him. The only way we can solve any problem is to talk to the person that hurt us. Jesus is that person and so many forget that He was flesh just like us. He is a man that walked on this earth, worked and dealt with problems. He dealt with so much and because of this He met w God everyday in quietness. He died for you and you can’t trust Him? Don’t feel bad bc neither could I. I was afraid to let God be God. I was afraid He would let me down like all the others in my life. He doesn’t though. He hasn’t let me down but instead He has helped me change my thinking. If anyone let anyone down it was me letting Him down.

Once I changed my thinking towards Him I learned I could trust Him implicitly. I had to change things about myself before I could allow Him to be God in my life. Recognizing that His Will may not be mine but His was best was the hardest thing ever! I will do my best to never walk out of His Will again no matter how much it hurts me at the time. I trust Him! I trust Him w my pain, my anger, my feelings and I trust He does and will come to my aid.

I can’t ask Him to kill folks w a train 😜 and I may or may not have done this. I was such an angry person and I didn’t even realize how much until this year. As He fixed me I did some venting to Him for sure! When I want to yell I take it to Him. When I want to kill someone I pray for them instead. I will never be perfect but I can strive to be more and more like Jesus each day, so can you.

He took everything away from me to make me put all my trust in Him! I lost my brain and my family. He will give it all back better than you originally had it. This is so much easier if you just submit and allow Him to take care of it. Cooperation between you and Him isn’t really needed but this process works so much better when we do.

He is the poet and you are His magnificent poem. Find your faith and trust in Him. We cannot please Him without faith ! I wasn’t a blind faith walker but I can assure you He is real bc I met Him when I died. I praise Him for that. Allow Him to work on His masterpiece; that is you!

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

I had to start small and build to full trust. I started with very specific prayers and I got to watch Him answer all of them. I know He is real but He is ok with proving it! Give Him the chance and He will prove it to you too.

I may not be the best at trusting people here on earth but I have put all my trust in Jesus. Proverbs 3:6 acknowledge Him in everything and He will direct your path. Not all of those paths are straight and some of them come with pain but His way is the safest place you’ll ever be. Trust in the Lord and let Him direct your path! He is really all that matters; in this life and the next. I sure wish I had learned all of this much sooner. It was my distrust in people that scared me away from trusting God. He lets me know who I can trust here on earth and there are times I still have problems with these people and me being able to trust. I have learned to hand it all to Him.

Start with baby steps… He will teach you to walk !

I pray everyone enjoyed this Christmas w family and friends. Happy Day!

We have so many things we want but do we need them? I believe God is ok with us having material things and wants us to be happy BUT we must learn to be thankful and content in what we do have. We cannot let material things rule us or be selfish. Toilet paper is literally a luxury some do not have. Being able to worship the Lord in a church is a luxury. Carrying a Bible is a luxury. People die in other countries for these things.

People forget how blessed they truly are but instead focus on what they don’t have. When we constantly see what we don’t have instead of what we do we cannot thank Him for loving us. If we do not appreciate and value what we do have why would He ever give us more?

Take a breath! A slow deep breath that fills your entire lungs. Now praise Him that you were able to. Some didn’t wake up this morning. Your life can change in a matter of seconds. I have died and this concept of being done is something most never think about. Everything you see around you right this second will not be the same in a year. I pray it is better and whatever you face is healed and you don’t have any pain in your life and heart.

The teaching in God’s Word is plain, that we should go to Him with thankfulness before we ask for anything …. do you? Did you thank God for allowing you to open your eyes this morning? Thank Him now … give Him praise for allowing you to worship Him. Stop being so negative and whining about everything to everyone. We are about to start the decade where we speak things into existence and we have to learn to shut our mouths. If you’re whining all the time you are speaking death over you!! Switch it to life!!

God has been showing people what they are supposed to do for the last 10 years. In the next 10 years He is making it happen and we get to help Him. We help in speaking those things He showed us into existence. He has been teaching many what and how to do this. Have you been paying attention? We have got to get better about hearing from God.

We must all be intentional and pay attention to everything out of our mouth. There is life and death in your words! You can control your destiny in your words…. try it! Make a list of what you want in the world. What do you want to do with God in 2020? Get to 50 things and then stretch that list … be specific about your life and your future. At the top of your list thank Him. Be content in your life as it is now and watch Him bless you!

Increase your prayer life and watch how God responds. He wants you to come to Him with all of your needs. If you are unsure where to start get you some praise music and sing. They all praise Him and you are then beginning to speak life over yourself. This is really important for the next year… stop cursing yourself.

If you are sick begin to speak healing over you and walk with that spirit. God doesn’t want any of His kids sick but we stay that way due to our own negativity. Are we going to get sick at times, yep. Do we have to stay that way or focus on it, nope. That is up to us… call down His Spirit of healing. Be thankful for your healing before it even comes. Thank Him in advance on credit.

What are you most thankful for today? Tell Him!! Tell Him and thank Him for all the blessings you have been awarded! I am walking with that healing spirit and I’ll never breach His spirit in me again. Father, I cancel everything negative out of our mouths and Satan cannot use it against us anymore. Any idle words are revoked and we apologize for any and all things not of You that have been out of us. Forgive us Father! Forgive us for not being as thankful as we should be on all days. Teach us to see all of your blessings and let us thank You immediately. Show us our negative actions and help us correct them. Bind our tongues where nothing that isn’t of You Lord comes out of us. Thank you. Thank you Jesus for loving us. For taking our sins and making us pure for You. Thank You for toilet paper, for clean water, for hot baths, food to fill our belly and Your living water, The Word and for Your faithfulness!! O, how we praise Your Holy Name! We love you! Thank You Jesus for sending Your Spirit to reside in us. Thank You for your beautiful birth. We can see You in everything Father and we thank You! Thank You… thank You for keeping your promises. Amen