I know how that sounds and how we just want to back away from those people that are toxic and hurt us. But, it is imperative to forgive them. This is something God has been really pounding into my brain. We cannot go to the next level until all is behind us. To be completely behind us this stuff must be dealt with and forgiven.
In the podcast this morning I went over some situations I found myself in with an extremely toxic person. I had a roommate once that brought me a potato because I was in the kitchen. He expected me to bow down to him because I am a woman and my place was in the kitchen. I handed the food back to him and told him he was more than capable of fixing that for himself. We teach people how they can treat us and what they can get away with. I will not allow toxic to get in me, on me, or near me with their junk. They will not hold anything over my head or pressure me into doing anything. I had to get here though, because I became a pushover with brain injury. I dont think I knew any better at some times. I would cry and get my feelings hurt but now I just laugh at them. It literally took God giving me this strength though because I did not have it. I will not allow anyone to treat me badly anymore because I am not the problem when they are toxic. I have analyzed myself and I look in the mirror every day while asking God what in me needs to go because I want to be more like You. When we can look at our own faults and insecurities like this it allows God to be our strength.
To know you are around toxic is difficult at times but these people will have certain issues with their character. What has helped get me though this is God pounding it into me that my issue isn’t with flesh and blood (EPH 6) but with evil spirits satan has released into the world. Do not think I am making excuses for toxic because I am not. We cannot be around these people and once everyone leaves them alone maybe they will get the point that they need to work on themselves. People always try and please them and that must stop! The people pleasing must GO! We were not put here to worship anyone but God and these people will want you to worship them, even when they say they only want what is best for you. They are liars! And liars to the tenth degree, lol. It can get bad! I had someone once tell me they caught a hummingbird because it got tired but they could not tell me what color it was. Use caution when your spirit does not resonate will around another. There is one person that I cannot even be around. Every single time this person is near I feel hate, anger, wrath, anxiety, fear, all of these wretched spirits of satan that that Bible tells us about but they are unwilling to work on their own issues but instead blame everyone for everything. God has removed this person from my life. I asked Him to. I prayed for months that God show me what was good for me and what wasn’t and for Him to remove everything He didn’t want me around. Toxic is toxic!
Knowing the signs of toxic is difficult at times so we are going to go over a few. 1. They blame you for everything. 2. They cannot accept their role in anything. 3. They lie. 4. They cause strife. 5. They like drama and conflict. 6. Not only do they like these things but they keep feeding the flames. 7. They always want you to do for them but they are unwilling to do anything for you. 8. They will talk down to you about you. 9. You become the butt of all their jokes. 10. Gaslight you. 11. Make you doubt everything about yourself… If you do any of these things you need to check yourselF!! These people are weak individuals that will even go so far as to twist scripture to manipulate you into doing what they want. I had a boss once that tried to do this to me. They told me if I didn’t work I didn’t eat and twisted a verse in 2 Thess. I took it before God and He was like that is your last day there. He has literally removed me from every obstacle and person to hinder my growth in Him. He provides all your needs to pay attention to Him because people that twist scripture are master crazy maker, manipulators, that are in a very low place mentally. It is not your battle, nor your job, to help them out of their cave! You need to pray for them.. there are so many things we try to fix but actually dug ourselves into a giant hole when that battle wasn’t even ours.
Misery loves company and toxic people are literally miserable in their own skin. They need you to feel this way as well so you will have such low self-esteem that you will think you’re not worthy of better. Do not allow them to tear you down. Healing from this type of abuse is not easy but it is required to move into a new realm with the Lord. He will vindicate you so keep your mouth shut! We can move away from people, situations, and churches without ever saying a negative thing about them. We are to called to be better and be the example. Healing takes work and it may take God an entire week of showing you situations that hurt you in order for you to move past all of it and forgive these people. This is something He has really been on me about because we cannot have renewed minds and go with Him into the future if we are stuck on past hurts.
In order to heal sometimes we gotta get mad. Do not stop reading here!! Anger is not a bad emotion to have but when you get mad the Bible says to deal with it right then. God tells us this so our heart doesn’t grow hard because when it does it takes us further away from Him. When we move away from Him we must repent in order to have that extremely close walk we had before and we will get there. There are two IF’s in the Bible that have really been drilled into me the last few weeks. I will not lie I have struggled. 1. IF you love … 2. If you forgive… loving difficult toxic people is HARD!! It is almost next to impossible on my own but with God all things are possible. I wanted to hate a few people but we are commanded to love. We are commanded to forgive IF we want to be forgiven. These are keys to a new dimensional walk with the Lord but none of this is easy. We will get through, dont you dare stop now! I had to get so mad mentally that I would rather live in a ditch than with some people. This is what made me get away- anger! I have not allowed my anger to make me display my wrath, that is God’s job and He has assured me He will vindicate me but I gotta keep my mouth shut. We can be mad but we cannot allow it to make us sin.
The VERY first thing in healing from a toxic persons and their negative effects on your life is to FORGIVE YOURSELF for your own ignorance. We gotta forgive ourselves for allowing all of this to happen. We will not be like them and throw blame but instead we will accept our role and forgive ourselves for being stupid. Say it out loud- “ I forgive myself.” This sounds extremely elementary but it is therapeutic because your subconscious needs to hear it so it can get from your head to your heart. Now, let those memories flow and forgive those that have hurt you because of their toxicity. Say it out loud! Say it 5 million times if you need to but get over it. Pray for God to help you forgive. I know that works because I had to do it. People think I am joking about that serial killer mentality but I am not. Murder starts in the heart and I hated some folks for the way they have treated me and things they have physically done. I had to ask God for Him to show me how to forgive like He does us. I dont know about you but I ain’t going to hell because of some junky unforgiveness trapped in my heart or for having an non-forgiving spirit. Nobody is about to block me from my Jesus. God has got our back and we gotta KNOW that. This all comes down to how much do you trust God ?
You are gonna get through this, keep going.. keep praying and keep asking Him to renew your mind and your spirit. He is faithful.
Lord, Father God we love you. We trust you and we put our life in Your hands. We have made a mess of things by allowing toxic individuals around us. Father, do not allow this toxic to stretch over into our lives or our realm of being. Please forgive us for anything we have not been able to let go of and teach us to forgive like You do us. Thank you my Lord. Thank You for being such an amazing Person that is just and we can put all of our trust into. We love You Lord. Remove us from all the bad that cannot go into the future with us. Show us what is in people’s hearts towards us and our family. remove them from around us. Thank You for fighting our battles and for showing us which battles are not even ours. In Jesus’ Mighty Name we pray. Amen
Be Still & Shut up 