Be Still & Shut up

God is so funny sometimes at how He brings people in our lives. Jenny is here from Texas and I’m so blessed Jesus put us together. She’s so much like me and the rest of the crew Jesus has put me with.

She talks to herself, which I completely do myself and agree with, but I have been living alone for like a few years. So, I didn’t know if she was talking to me or not bc sometimes I could hear what she was saying and sometimes not. So… “You talking to me, yourself or Jesus?” 😂😜 This is the norm. I love that she’s here. I need as many people that have normalized Jesus as I can get around me bc I can’t help it. He spews out of me. It’s really quite cool to say the least but the love He exudes to others is just a trip. I mean I love people but He really loves and the people He has around me allows me to feel that love for and towards me. It’s special and I praise Him for the amazing individuals He has placed in my life for this journey. (She mostly talks to Jesus)

We met at the airport when I went to jail. I met her right before security and we hung out all night; and Drew, a guy from Colorado. He was such a cutie with such a sweet spirit! He was so good to me too and these two almost went to jail w me. 😂😂 the cops told them if they didn’t back away from me they were going w me. I find this hilarious!! Like I had a dang bomb or something. I was talking about Jesus! ✌️🤣 In the human realm I find this funny. In the spiritual realm this infuriates me at the enemy. In the American realm of things this really pisses me off. So many emotions w going to jail for having church w Jesus at the airport.

I think this is some of why Jenny and I were put together. She was locked up for Jesus too. Her story is way more crazy than mine, and I’m trying to get her to tell it. I’m just glad my lock up was Shelby county, coulda been worse.

It was worth it. We both praise Him for it happening and learned so much. We both went for speaking about Jesus. Who knew 🤷‍♀️ who really knew this was happening?! For talking about Jesus!! This should infuriate every American! Like…. what the what!!

God is so wise with the 21 days of communion. He’s shooing me out of the cave w these videos. They are getting easier. What’s really getting easier is being transparent about my life, what I see, what He tells me and me being who He is using. I have had to get used to this, I guess you could say. I didn’t choose this but I’m flowing with Him. It’s getting easier. TikTok doesn’t have a red record/live button and neither does Snapchat so those are getting better…. We are building up to Facebook live prayers everyday. I thought this was what was going on but wasn’t sure. Ok… I don’t mind praying online tell me when.

Forgive me Daddy and rewrite me where I love doing this bc you’re are my passion and let’s fix the nerves. Thank You Daddy! Oh how I praise you and love you. Goodnight.

You know the scripture about your enemies that says you will look and find them no more? Isaiah 41:12, Psalm 37:10. If you remember Yahweh gave us a prophetic word and teaching about this last year. I have seen this come to pass since Rosh Hashanah and it was prophesied that day at a service I attended. I gotta go find that word and see what else is in it. I literally write them and forget them until I see it or He reminds me.

And just an FYI I never know who the words are for. So much so that I have to grab the words He puts out through me too bc I’ve had to back myself out in order to put what He wants out without my own interference. I am just as excited as everyone else… and I know how exciting it is when we get confirmation!

I feel like a kid again. I could hang out with children ALLLLLL the time!! They are so very wise! We could learn so much from children if we tried. I took my babies, they are on house arrest again – their dad has COViD but it is at home and doing ok- to the park today and they instantly made 3 new cousins! Not frands but cousins bc we are family. This warms my heart so greatly and we all played. I could feel the moms heart of the children there after she found out I was the grandparent. She said, “you don’t see that much now a days. Grandparents being a part of their kids lives.” She was incredibly saddened by this so if you’re a grandparent not having anything to do w your children or your grands I encourage you to put yourself in their shoes. What kind of grandparent did your children grow up with? I had the best and this makes me want to be the best. I could never top them but I’ll do everything I can to try. These kids are my legacy.

We have had so much junk food the past two days 😩😁 it was worth it. I’ll walk a few extra miles. They are my favorite people on earth, those souls God gave me are so precious. My love for them and this heart is like so tender. I’m a sensitive dude! Hah! That’s hilarious! My 2nd cousin told his mom that and now my heart is using his line. I love them to the depths of me and yep, they are still a trigger. Id kill for them!

Still getting to know me. I have noticed that parts of me I wanted to get rid of Jesus wants to use. It’s interesting and we shall all see together what He brings back and what He doesn’t. I think it’s mainly the boldness and the fact that I didn’t care what anyone thought. Ha! I was the type of person that if you wanted to talk about me I’d help you out … I would give people a reason to talk 😂 I think I still am just in a hugely different way. Did you see how crazy she sounded today? I can see people saying that and it makes me laugh out loud hilariously! I know! I know how this sounds and I think that is why God did this on Facebook lmbo! Y’all watched Him change me. Hilarious!

I went to a funeral yesterday that hurt my heart. Most of the time I can celebrate when people transition Home, but she was my age!! My age is too young to die…

This funeral stirred up emotions in me that I could have went a lifetime without reliving. Ive lost a spouse so I understood and could feel her husbands heart. Oh, at the tears and grief I had to hold back. This caused great compassion to stir within me. I’ve lost a parent too and could relate to her children.

This felt like a gut punch to my heart! That could have been me! 9 years ago it was supposed to be!

If you follow you know Jesus has been talking to me about lifting the dead and that I had millions of questions- who? When? Why them? Who gets up? Yesterday I was so angry and I know how crazy I sound but when Daddy tells me to walk into a funeral home and tell them to get up I’m doing it! Jesus did with Lazarus! (John 11) I got a new mandate when it comes to death yesterday. It’s time for the sons of God to reveal themselves! Romans 8!

My only fear or hesitation was pulling someone from heaven. I never want to do that bc I’ve been there and I sometimes wonder if I was stupid for coming back but here I am, on my own crazy train. I don’t care if I pull them out of heaven anymore. They can tell me I don’t want to be here and leave again but everyone is about to be getting up! I came back to destroy the works of the enemy. Death is his and this warrior of God’s is pissed off! Every ounce of anger I have goes to its rightful place, the enemy. My enemy, your enemy, our only enemy!!

Have you ever sat and thought about the brokenness you’ve experienced and the culprit of the pain? One event can shake a person to their inner core. One event can break a solid person. Isn’t it odd how we can go through some of the toughest things and thrive but then comes along that one event and everything seems to feel like it’s crumbling?

I am reflecting today. We are changing seasons again and it’s time to let go of some stuff and make room for new again. Some of the people in your life are about to change. You’re ok and you’re safe.

All of this stepping into being a son is new to me. I wonder, quite often, if I’ve completely lost it? Is this real? Is this really happening? Am I dreaming? Is this real? Did I misunderstand Holy Spirit? Did I miss this? Did I hear You right? Did I see that right? I think I’m gonna pinch myself …

What are you willing to give up? Anything You need me to. I just want to please You!

There is a food shortage coming, please start stocking up, and I can feel another shutdown (I’ve been putting out warnings hoping people would wake up and see). If we don’t pray to minimize the things coming it’ll get worse and there will be never a going back to what we thought was normal (pre-COViD). Welcome to the new folks! It’s gonna get hairy but I’ve been promised those living IN Jesus are going to be fine! Don’t get scared but be prepared! I don’t ever want to cause fear to come on anyone so don’t allow that. Fear is a spirit that lies to you and makes you terrified. God says you’re gonna be ok IF you’re IN Jesus. If you don’t know Jesus I highly recommend getting in a relationship with Him.

Being in Jesus means you’re hidden. You’re hidden and tucked in the bosom of Yahweh! No safer place to be than dwelling in the presence of the Most High and under His wings!

I haven’t really wanted to talk about hell but it is growing exponentially daily! That needs to stop! If I need to scare hell out of people like God did me so be it. Yesterday after the funeral I had to go on a walk with Jesus and work through some emotions. I was presented with a scenario that shook me to my core! What if! What if I were the pastor doing a funeral of someone I didn’t personally know?! How can I know what to tell their family? How could I ever say they went to heaven when I didn’t know? I couldn’t … How can I let them sit in hell ? Then I was asked; would you get them up if you thought they all went to hell? My heart sank on this one and my answer was immediately YES!! I’ve been to hell and I don’t want another soul there – that is the enemy winning and I can’t allow that to happen! God picked someone with some vengeance on the inside of them when He picked me. I want revenge for that rat trying to kill me and if destroying his works is how then let’s do this! I know who my enemy is and it ain’t people.

I have changed so much over the last 3 years when all of this started; my process. I can remember the day I woke up knowing my past and the day I agreed to Him wiping my memories again so I could learn from Him. From my understanding all my memories are up there in like a filing cabinet and if I need them I can access em (sometimes I have to meditate for this and to be honest a memory usually isn’t worth it – I live from the future not the past). It’s nice knowing it’s up there and accessible. I’ve used this to go back to events of my children’s past. I’ve went back to hearing their heartbeat while they were inside of me. The brain is such a cool tool we have not near touched the surface of. It’s an untapped weapon!

3 years of learning from Jesus. I joke and say this time was my brainwashing. It was truly lol. I moved out on my own alone and He became my roommate. We cook together, have meals together, we talk, we watch movies (that He picks), we go on walks … He is my best friend!! He sucked me out of the world to suck the world back out of me. The heart I have now is the one I came back from heaven with and it is precious. Looking at all He has accomplished … this has been the best 3 years of the short 9 I’ve been here.

More later…

If you follow me you know I have been, ummm slowly, coming out of my cave. I’m not even gonna lie it’s been easy being in here. I’m safe in my cave and in the little life I’ve created around me. I’ve liked my little life and I’ve seen what me agreeing to do this does to my life.

I will never be able to walk into a bar and grab a beer again because I will be judged by people for that beer and it could discredit my entire ministry (for a beer – how nuts, I’d rather someone be real and tell me the truth than pretend to be perfect while hiding their sins and lie to me!!) these are the things that have been playing over and over in my mind and heart. This cost me everything I used to do and things I thought were fun until He taught me the spiritual implications on all my fun. It became not fun at all. He’s made me be ok w giving it all up.

That, and people are going to flipping hate me! They will love the healings and be left awe struck by God but they will still hate me. Knowing that going in has been bothersome. Jesus has told me that He has a lot of friends where He is sending me and to not worry. I’m a bit of an overthinker so that was not the easiest to just stop about. The ones that matter will love me and they do, they just might not know it yet. God is in everyone, and people don’t know that, and His spirit will mold you into Jesus’ image (someone in English help me here – what is the correct way to write this on Jesus?) God is love. See, they just don’t know they love me yet 😜 that is how I got through that hate part and baby I been hated before. It’ll be alright.

This involves a physical move for me. Idk exactly when but He’s told me the city I will live in and I’m so excited!! It’s country and city and I love that about it. So is my future spouse. He’s a little city and a lot country. I love outdoors if you can’t tell and spend a lot of time out there. This was important to me. It also includes that future spouse thing and it has taken Holy Spirit 2 years to make me ok w being married again. This is something I did not want. I wouldn’t even put out the prophetic words about it bc I didn’t want that spoke over me. I sure didn’t want it out of my mouth. I know the power of my words but man when I tell ya Jesus touched my heart for this person … my God… I love him. Like love him love him and he’s got small children. Oh,,, y’all my heart melts at that! Kids are my crew! They are my favorite people on earth!! One of my grands got mad and cried yesterday bc I’m going out of town and into a different time zone. She thought she couldn’t call me. I’m ONLY a phone call away. And I pray w them before they go to school every morning. She was scared that would stop. After I explained she had it all wrong she was ok and kissed me bye and told me to have fun. That is the love of a child and they are the absolute best. It’s important to start their day and yours with prayer. You command your entire day this way!! I’m just going to visit my baby brudder right now but they are aware that Jesus told their Grami she was getting married. He told me it was a must for my mandate. Then He molded me by me being married to Him. He is my first love and I’ll do anything He says! He brainwashed my head and heart so well! Y’all … if this don’t shock a person idk what will.

And then He taught me about anointing. This is what you are specifically chosen by Him to do. You will lack no spiritual gifts from Holy Spirit. (1 Cor 1:7) then He started talking about mantles. This you choose to put on and walk in. Do you want it and what is your motive behind it. I had to learn about some people, their lives and how they operated. I had no idea who they were but I’ve been asked and decided I would pick up their mantles. I’m so grateful my heart is crying as I write this. My entire being cries of gratitude with this. I picked up a legends mantle yesterday, two of them actually, and I pray I can do just a tenth of what they did. These are people I could put eyes on and learn from in my language- they had the anointing that Paul had and carried his mantle. I think God is crazy for this but I accept!!

I will not ever go anywhere that Holy Spirit didn’t lead and if He isn’t welcome then neither am I. He has so changed me and it is time to arise and shine for my light has come.

I’m so grateful He feels He can use this mess. I never wanted any of this but I have to do this. I want to but it’s deeper than anything people see on the surface. I owe Him! I owe Him my very life (Philemon). I didn’t want people to know me. I didn’t want people around me. I was not a people”y” person. Now, I look at everyone exactly the same bc I understand who you are. I think differently towards different people but love them all. I prolly love my grands more than I love you but 🤷‍♀️. This is important bc I was one of those selfish people that didn’t love others. How could I love them when mostly I didn’t even like people? The heart yall … this heart is new and so pure. It’s like it’s been reset and it was never hurt.

Each time I got hurt my heart would grow a little darker, seeds of anger attached roots. When I say I could have taken out some folks believe me bc in my head they were already dead. I was on the edge of crossing over to the dark side, and I say that with all seriousness and more gratefulness in my heart bc it could have gotten so bad. But God snatched me by the hair of my head again, and saved me from me but my God did it hurt! He told me if I didn’t leave somewhere I’d hurt. I did hurt but it was temporary bc I obeyed. As soon as I depended on Him and let Him begin to lead and tell me where to go the pain was gone. I had to, the pain was severe!!! I’m still exactly where He put me and will stay until He moves me. People say God wouldn’t do that … please! He is God and can do/allow what He wants! In the Bible an angel volunteered to become a lying spirit to the prophets of Baal (I think). He hardened pharaohs heart. People need to read the Bible for themselves!

I have no idea how to do any of this, but I know how to pray. I know how to praise. I know how to worship. I know how to get right up under His wings. When I pray I know it is done. I know He hears me and He has promised me every person around me when I pray and love on Him will be healed. See?, I have to do this. I wasn’t really sure it would happen but He’s shown me.

If you get out of the way He will praise Himself. I’ve danced with Spirit doing it and it’s kinda odd, so awkward at first in front of others but I’ve also noticed they are amazed to see it. I’m amazed to see it. Not many dance in the spirit. I’ve only seen it once and it was my body that was taken over during worship by His Spirit. I opened my eyes to see what was going on and then shut them and let Him go at it.

It’s so weird how when you get to know yourself you get to know all 3 parts of you and you’re gonna have conversations with all of them. I was listening in on a conversation with my soul (thoughts, will, emotions) yesterday and my heart. I felt them fully merge. I felt them fall in love. This is biblical where scripture gets deep in Ephesians about marriage but I’m not ready to explain this, I’m learning.. the heart has brain cells it’s like they got married to the brain brain cells and now my flesh is on board. The soul works with the brain so if you get your head right your heart will follow. Submission was a bit tricky until I had the revelation I chose all of this. I believe we know our end from our beginning and we chose our path. Whether we come back to Christ is on us but we were born for such a time as this. We knew what we were up against when we came into this world but it was like turned off. Holy Spirit will bring all things to your remembrance.

All the love you’ll ever need is on the inside of you. To love my heart I had to get to know her and Jesus. She was broken, healed, touched, all of it but I had to know I could trust her bc I knew old me and the last thing I ever wanted was to go into a TBI blackout and not know what happened or if she was bad or deadly. Main reason I don’t drink! This became my only fear and it was bc I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t trust my brain or my heart and I was on guard at all times- it was rather exhausting! I had to learn to trust Spirit within me first and then she (my heart) earned her trust. I had to see how she really felt about stuff. And, once I learned the heart had brain cells it was time for them to be activated. We can talk to our cells, they are conscious and hear us. Everything is spiritual but I can explain it better using science, at times bc I am a science geek turned God’s spiritual nerd; our hearts remember the love it has for Jesus when you get to know it.

Writing like this has helped me get to know me and Jesus, Holy Spirit and Daddy. If you don’t journal I highly recommend it. You can write out questions and get answers!! Lots of answers…. Trust what you write. Trust the Writer within you.

I questioned my discernment so much but I’m not doing that anymore. He shows and tells me everything before I step into it. I knew about someone wanting to try and manipulate me and what they were going to use to try before it ever happened!! This happened a little bit ago and I flew off!! I will not allow this girl to be hurt again!! She is my car and won’t nobody be taking advantage of her anymore or trying to use anything to manipulate her! The devil has nothing in me!! It’ll never be my fault someone let the devil use them and I’m gonna show them how he did it and what their total part was. I did this and laughed. Then I prayed! That manipulative spirit had to back away from me!! I will not allow this crap!

I’ve noticed when I start breaking something off people, they will get diarrhea bc our bodies must be purged of lies stored up in us. Bowls remove toxins! Strange but true lol ask people that know, hang out and pray with me. Hahaha it’s a little funny.

Don’t let anyone make you question yourself…
Who told you?
Who told you that you couldn’t do this? Who told you that you weren’t worthy? Who told you? Who told you those lies?? And when you get to they said, who is they? You better recognize and do what God says.
Being in alignment in this hour is gonna be crucial. You’re gonna need to be able to hear from Him yourself.

I will tell all He gives me without questions from now on bc there has been a lot He has told me that is in journals and words I have never put out. I had to make sure I was hearing right. I have had to revisit some of them with the spirit discernment and get further meaning, clairty, add to/take away… etc. Some of it I didn’t like and some of it others won’t like either. They can be mad. I dont care bc I know they’re not really mad at me but at what God says. I’m not gonna take it personally unless someone tries to put their hands on me … then we fight, it’s really just that simple. I grew up in a tough town and had several 3rd degree battery charges before I was 16! I was straight up a fighter. Now, I really don’t want to but the devil better know I will and folks the devil is using against me better recognize all my anger is toward the devil. I will go after the demon first but if they wanna rock we can play! Hahaha that’s so funny. My flesh is a fighter! She will throw down and ain’t scared of nothing. I was not the portion of this being that wanted to zip line. She’s pretty tough, I’ll give her that. Our bodies are remarkable! I went and shot at bottles and didn’t miss. This impressed me, I literally impressed myself. I’ve learned I didn’t trust my body but I do now. She knows what to do! Look how fabulously she held up and fought for us. She’s pretty badass in my opinion.

I’m gonna go hang out w some cowboys for the rest of the day. Stay blessed! ✌️🙏

Isaiah 60
Ezekiel 36
Esther 4
Romans 8