Be Still & Shut up

Downtown Nashville is a trip! I have learned so much. Idk if you’ve been to Nashville but downtown on Broadway St is like Beale St at home, in Memphis. If you’ve never been to either place there is nothing but bars on each side of the street. People start at one end of the street and bar hop until they find one they like. We went to a couple of places that weren’t too crowded but we went early. When everything got crowded I was ready to go. I’m really not a bar person but tonight wasn’t bad, and I think it’s because of the atmosphere.

I met some of the most fascinating people. I always did on Beale and loved going there for a burger and music. I haven’t been anywhere like this since my wreck. I haven’t been able to take that many people or the sounds and I did good tonight. I’m integrating back into society nicely. There were some places that I would walk in and right back out of; way too crowded.

Loud music wasn’t really my thang after my wreck either. Brain injury made me so sensitive to sounds. I was able to go in and listen without the music being too loud and sending me into like panic. Loud music use to over stimulate my brain but I danced tonight.

It’s 0130 and I’m laying in bed listening to the music from the street. I’ve forgotten what this was like. I had a lot of fun tonight, people watching, dancing, meeting new friends, everyone here has been superb. I’ve had a great time and the hiking was beautiful.

I met and prayed with a lot of people here …. It’s been great! Thanks Daddy!

Thank You Daddy for such a lovely day, I appreciate everyone you put on my path today and I thank You for them. Bless them, keep them and give them peace. Amen

I have the best job ever!!

God is so funny sometimes at how He brings people in our lives. Jenny is here from Texas and I’m so blessed Jesus put us together. She’s so much like me and the rest of the crew Jesus has put me with.

She talks to herself, which I completely do myself and agree with, but I have been living alone for like a few years. So, I didn’t know if she was talking to me or not bc sometimes I could hear what she was saying and sometimes not. So… “You talking to me, yourself or Jesus?” 😂😜 This is the norm. I love that she’s here. I need as many people that have normalized Jesus as I can get around me bc I can’t help it. He spews out of me. It’s really quite cool to say the least but the love He exudes to others is just a trip. I mean I love people but He really loves and the people He has around me allows me to feel that love for and towards me. It’s special and I praise Him for the amazing individuals He has placed in my life for this journey. (She mostly talks to Jesus)

We met at the airport when I went to jail. I met her right before security and we hung out all night; and Drew, a guy from Colorado. He was such a cutie with such a sweet spirit! He was so good to me too and these two almost went to jail w me. 😂😂 the cops told them if they didn’t back away from me they were going w me. I find this hilarious!! Like I had a dang bomb or something. I was talking about Jesus! ✌️🤣 In the human realm I find this funny. In the spiritual realm this infuriates me at the enemy. In the American realm of things this really pisses me off. So many emotions w going to jail for having church w Jesus at the airport.

I think this is some of why Jenny and I were put together. She was locked up for Jesus too. Her story is way more crazy than mine, and I’m trying to get her to tell it. I’m just glad my lock up was Shelby county, coulda been worse.

It was worth it. We both praise Him for it happening and learned so much. We both went for speaking about Jesus. Who knew 🤷‍♀️ who really knew this was happening?! For talking about Jesus!! This should infuriate every American! Like…. what the what!!

God is so wise with the 21 days of communion. He’s shooing me out of the cave w these videos. They are getting easier. What’s really getting easier is being transparent about my life, what I see, what He tells me and me being who He is using. I have had to get used to this, I guess you could say. I didn’t choose this but I’m flowing with Him. It’s getting easier. TikTok doesn’t have a red record/live button and neither does Snapchat so those are getting better…. We are building up to Facebook live prayers everyday. I thought this was what was going on but wasn’t sure. Ok… I don’t mind praying online tell me when.

Forgive me Daddy and rewrite me where I love doing this bc you’re are my passion and let’s fix the nerves. Thank You Daddy! Oh how I praise you and love you. Goodnight.

You know the scripture about your enemies that says you will look and find them no more? Isaiah 41:12, Psalm 37:10. If you remember Yahweh gave us a prophetic word and teaching about this last year. I have seen this come to pass since Rosh Hashanah and it was prophesied that day at a service I attended. I gotta go find that word and see what else is in it. I literally write them and forget them until I see it or He reminds me.

And just an FYI I never know who the words are for. So much so that I have to grab the words He puts out through me too bc I’ve had to back myself out in order to put what He wants out without my own interference. I am just as excited as everyone else… and I know how exciting it is when we get confirmation!

I feel like a kid again. I could hang out with children ALLLLLL the time!! They are so very wise! We could learn so much from children if we tried. I took my babies, they are on house arrest again – their dad has COViD but it is at home and doing ok- to the park today and they instantly made 3 new cousins! Not frands but cousins bc we are family. This warms my heart so greatly and we all played. I could feel the moms heart of the children there after she found out I was the grandparent. She said, “you don’t see that much now a days. Grandparents being a part of their kids lives.” She was incredibly saddened by this so if you’re a grandparent not having anything to do w your children or your grands I encourage you to put yourself in their shoes. What kind of grandparent did your children grow up with? I had the best and this makes me want to be the best. I could never top them but I’ll do everything I can to try. These kids are my legacy.

We have had so much junk food the past two days 😩😁 it was worth it. I’ll walk a few extra miles. They are my favorite people on earth, those souls God gave me are so precious. My love for them and this heart is like so tender. I’m a sensitive dude! Hah! That’s hilarious! My 2nd cousin told his mom that and now my heart is using his line. I love them to the depths of me and yep, they are still a trigger. Id kill for them!

Still getting to know me. I have noticed that parts of me I wanted to get rid of Jesus wants to use. It’s interesting and we shall all see together what He brings back and what He doesn’t. I think it’s mainly the boldness and the fact that I didn’t care what anyone thought. Ha! I was the type of person that if you wanted to talk about me I’d help you out … I would give people a reason to talk 😂 I think I still am just in a hugely different way. Did you see how crazy she sounded today? I can see people saying that and it makes me laugh out loud hilariously! I know! I know how this sounds and I think that is why God did this on Facebook lmbo! Y’all watched Him change me. Hilarious!

I went to a funeral yesterday that hurt my heart. Most of the time I can celebrate when people transition Home, but she was my age!! My age is too young to die…

This funeral stirred up emotions in me that I could have went a lifetime without reliving. Ive lost a spouse so I understood and could feel her husbands heart. Oh, at the tears and grief I had to hold back. This caused great compassion to stir within me. I’ve lost a parent too and could relate to her children.

This felt like a gut punch to my heart! That could have been me! 9 years ago it was supposed to be!

If you follow you know Jesus has been talking to me about lifting the dead and that I had millions of questions- who? When? Why them? Who gets up? Yesterday I was so angry and I know how crazy I sound but when Daddy tells me to walk into a funeral home and tell them to get up I’m doing it! Jesus did with Lazarus! (John 11) I got a new mandate when it comes to death yesterday. It’s time for the sons of God to reveal themselves! Romans 8!

My only fear or hesitation was pulling someone from heaven. I never want to do that bc I’ve been there and I sometimes wonder if I was stupid for coming back but here I am, on my own crazy train. I don’t care if I pull them out of heaven anymore. They can tell me I don’t want to be here and leave again but everyone is about to be getting up! I came back to destroy the works of the enemy. Death is his and this warrior of God’s is pissed off! Every ounce of anger I have goes to its rightful place, the enemy. My enemy, your enemy, our only enemy!!

Have you ever sat and thought about the brokenness you’ve experienced and the culprit of the pain? One event can shake a person to their inner core. One event can break a solid person. Isn’t it odd how we can go through some of the toughest things and thrive but then comes along that one event and everything seems to feel like it’s crumbling?

I am reflecting today. We are changing seasons again and it’s time to let go of some stuff and make room for new again. Some of the people in your life are about to change. You’re ok and you’re safe.

All of this stepping into being a son is new to me. I wonder, quite often, if I’ve completely lost it? Is this real? Is this really happening? Am I dreaming? Is this real? Did I misunderstand Holy Spirit? Did I miss this? Did I hear You right? Did I see that right? I think I’m gonna pinch myself …

What are you willing to give up? Anything You need me to. I just want to please You!

There is a food shortage coming, please start stocking up, and I can feel another shutdown (I’ve been putting out warnings hoping people would wake up and see). If we don’t pray to minimize the things coming it’ll get worse and there will be never a going back to what we thought was normal (pre-COViD). Welcome to the new folks! It’s gonna get hairy but I’ve been promised those living IN Jesus are going to be fine! Don’t get scared but be prepared! I don’t ever want to cause fear to come on anyone so don’t allow that. Fear is a spirit that lies to you and makes you terrified. God says you’re gonna be ok IF you’re IN Jesus. If you don’t know Jesus I highly recommend getting in a relationship with Him.

Being in Jesus means you’re hidden. You’re hidden and tucked in the bosom of Yahweh! No safer place to be than dwelling in the presence of the Most High and under His wings!

I haven’t really wanted to talk about hell but it is growing exponentially daily! That needs to stop! If I need to scare hell out of people like God did me so be it. Yesterday after the funeral I had to go on a walk with Jesus and work through some emotions. I was presented with a scenario that shook me to my core! What if! What if I were the pastor doing a funeral of someone I didn’t personally know?! How can I know what to tell their family? How could I ever say they went to heaven when I didn’t know? I couldn’t … How can I let them sit in hell ? Then I was asked; would you get them up if you thought they all went to hell? My heart sank on this one and my answer was immediately YES!! I’ve been to hell and I don’t want another soul there – that is the enemy winning and I can’t allow that to happen! God picked someone with some vengeance on the inside of them when He picked me. I want revenge for that rat trying to kill me and if destroying his works is how then let’s do this! I know who my enemy is and it ain’t people.

I have changed so much over the last 3 years when all of this started; my process. I can remember the day I woke up knowing my past and the day I agreed to Him wiping my memories again so I could learn from Him. From my understanding all my memories are up there in like a filing cabinet and if I need them I can access em (sometimes I have to meditate for this and to be honest a memory usually isn’t worth it – I live from the future not the past). It’s nice knowing it’s up there and accessible. I’ve used this to go back to events of my children’s past. I’ve went back to hearing their heartbeat while they were inside of me. The brain is such a cool tool we have not near touched the surface of. It’s an untapped weapon!

3 years of learning from Jesus. I joke and say this time was my brainwashing. It was truly lol. I moved out on my own alone and He became my roommate. We cook together, have meals together, we talk, we watch movies (that He picks), we go on walks … He is my best friend!! He sucked me out of the world to suck the world back out of me. The heart I have now is the one I came back from heaven with and it is precious. Looking at all He has accomplished … this has been the best 3 years of the short 9 I’ve been here.

More later…

If you follow me you know I have been, ummm slowly, coming out of my cave. I’m not even gonna lie it’s been easy being in here. I’m safe in my cave and in the little life I’ve created around me. I’ve liked my little life and I’ve seen what me agreeing to do this does to my life.

I will never be able to walk into a bar and grab a beer again because I will be judged by people for that beer and it could discredit my entire ministry (for a beer – how nuts, I’d rather someone be real and tell me the truth than pretend to be perfect while hiding their sins and lie to me!!) these are the things that have been playing over and over in my mind and heart. This cost me everything I used to do and things I thought were fun until He taught me the spiritual implications on all my fun. It became not fun at all. He’s made me be ok w giving it all up.

That, and people are going to flipping hate me! They will love the healings and be left awe struck by God but they will still hate me. Knowing that going in has been bothersome. Jesus has told me that He has a lot of friends where He is sending me and to not worry. I’m a bit of an overthinker so that was not the easiest to just stop about. The ones that matter will love me and they do, they just might not know it yet. God is in everyone, and people don’t know that, and His spirit will mold you into Jesus’ image (someone in English help me here – what is the correct way to write this on Jesus?) God is love. See, they just don’t know they love me yet 😜 that is how I got through that hate part and baby I been hated before. It’ll be alright.

This involves a physical move for me. Idk exactly when but He’s told me the city I will live in and I’m so excited!! It’s country and city and I love that about it. So is my future spouse. He’s a little city and a lot country. I love outdoors if you can’t tell and spend a lot of time out there. This was important to me. It also includes that future spouse thing and it has taken Holy Spirit 2 years to make me ok w being married again. This is something I did not want. I wouldn’t even put out the prophetic words about it bc I didn’t want that spoke over me. I sure didn’t want it out of my mouth. I know the power of my words but man when I tell ya Jesus touched my heart for this person … my God… I love him. Like love him love him and he’s got small children. Oh,,, y’all my heart melts at that! Kids are my crew! They are my favorite people on earth!! One of my grands got mad and cried yesterday bc I’m going out of town and into a different time zone. She thought she couldn’t call me. I’m ONLY a phone call away. And I pray w them before they go to school every morning. She was scared that would stop. After I explained she had it all wrong she was ok and kissed me bye and told me to have fun. That is the love of a child and they are the absolute best. It’s important to start their day and yours with prayer. You command your entire day this way!! I’m just going to visit my baby brudder right now but they are aware that Jesus told their Grami she was getting married. He told me it was a must for my mandate. Then He molded me by me being married to Him. He is my first love and I’ll do anything He says! He brainwashed my head and heart so well! Y’all … if this don’t shock a person idk what will.

And then He taught me about anointing. This is what you are specifically chosen by Him to do. You will lack no spiritual gifts from Holy Spirit. (1 Cor 1:7) then He started talking about mantles. This you choose to put on and walk in. Do you want it and what is your motive behind it. I had to learn about some people, their lives and how they operated. I had no idea who they were but I’ve been asked and decided I would pick up their mantles. I’m so grateful my heart is crying as I write this. My entire being cries of gratitude with this. I picked up a legends mantle yesterday, two of them actually, and I pray I can do just a tenth of what they did. These are people I could put eyes on and learn from in my language- they had the anointing that Paul had and carried his mantle. I think God is crazy for this but I accept!!