Be Still & Shut up

There are so many of us that struggle with one thing or another. Addictions you could call them… I have had them too. One of my most recent discovery was that I was addicted to food. What I did not do was pray for God to deliver me from it because I did not believe I was addicted to food, of all things. BUT, let me tell you, it was worse than I had expected. A very dear friend of mine introduced me to a new way of eating and dependence on God. I pray and I pray a whole lot but what I did not pray for was for my head, my heart and my gut to line up with what God wanted for my body. That is ultimately for me to enjoy the good foods but know when to stop eating them. To know I do not have to eat my feelings but I can give them all to my Heavenly Father. God has taught me so much about me and Him in the last season of my life. I know what God can do because He has done it in me. There are so many self-help books out there and some of them we really need to give a chance. The ones that focus on the Word of God, anyway. I recently read a book “The Weigh Down” by Gwen Shamblins and was taken aback by what all God will do with our diet. God has delivered me from many known substances and shown me that He can deliver us from any and all addictions no matter what they are. I believe addiction starts with a spirit from satan but ultimately our body will come to react to what it knows.

In order for God to deliver us from anything we must ask Him to. He is such a gentleman and is not going to come in on the scene unasked. I was a smoker for 30 years,. Yes, I started as a teenager stupidly. I liked to smoke and enjoy a cup of coffee in the mornings. I have quit several times throughout my life but this time God did it. I straight up told Him that I liked to smoke and He was going to have to take it away if He did not want me smoking. I went to a conference November of 2019 and by that Saturday night I was no longer a smoker. Why He took it then is beyond me but He did. When the conference was over I lit up a cigarette and it tasted like ass… not that I know what ass tastes like but this is what I would imagine it to be. I threw the smoke out the window and was done. I have since smoked a few cigarettes to see if they are still nasty and they really weren’t so I believe with all of me the spirit of addiction was trying to come back. The Bible says that when a spirit is removed it will try to come back and if the person’s house is not clean and swept it will bring back seven more spirits making the person worse off than it was originally. Good news! I was able to throw that whole pack of cigarettes away that I had bought and throwing them away did not even bother me. I no longer need them and I can tell when that spirit is lingering and wants to rear its ugly head again because I will crave a smoke and taste that nastiness from the night I quit.

I have also been delivered from the love of alcohol and cannabis. When I went to my Neurologist appointment after my wreck and he saw my scans He told me the quickest way to heal was with the use of cannabis. It was very hard for me to smoke it because I had collapsed a lung in the accident so I found another way to use it. I learned to make canna butter and put it in my coffee. I will always believe that God put cannabis here in order for us to be able to help our bodies heal but we are not to use it in order to simply get high. I did at the end of my use because life was not what I wanted it to be or the way I had envisioned it. I have learned that this is why we overindulge in anything especially substances that take us out of our heads: pills, alcohol, weed.. etc. it is because we do not like our lives. The Bible says we are to be content but that was pretty hard for me to be. I am 44 years old, died in a car wreck and had a severe brain injury. I was pissed at life and myself and at times God. I cannot tell you how many times I regretted coming back to earth during the last 7 years. Never again though because I have found my deliverance from all oppression. I am no longer in Egypt but I have crossed over into the Promise Land of what life is. Is my life perfect? Nope but I have learned to be content and to use my voice as a weapon! Life and death are in the power of our tongues. God’s love for me makes me content in all situations. Was it hard to get here? I will be honest.. kinda. I started small with 5-10 mins a day and before I knew it I was spending hours a day with God and craving MORE!

I was also delivered from pre-marital sex. Wow, He is just making me throw this all out there.. lol. I cannot help but to laugh with Him because it is not to make me look bad but to allow everyone to know if He can and will do this for me He can and will do it for anyone that asks. Did I have to put forth some effort? YES!! I had to ask for all of this and I knew when I was being tested. I started to approach everything as a test so I would not fail Him again. I have failed Him so badly! Do not ever think He holds it against you because He is not like people that throw you away. God always has His arms open wanting your return! No matter what your addiction is seek Him. Look what He has done for me and I am nothing special in our world. I am a normal every day person that has been delivered by our God. If you are a believer He can deliver you. If you aren’t it is pretty easy to get His help. We are saved by faith and allowed a bunch of grace. Faith is everything and it is impossible to please Him without it. When you pray you must believe you are being delivered. Ward off any evil, go to bed and wake up a new person. What have you really got to lose? It is time we all take the next step to deliverance.

If you do not know God lets take care of that. Father God, I know I need You in my life. I know You came to earth as a person, as Jesus, and died in my place for my sins. Thank You for loving me. I know I am a sinner and I ask for Your forgiveness and You adopting me into Your family. I admit I need You in my life and ask You to come and dwell inside of me. In Jesus name- Amen.

It is as easy as that. You got the Holy Spirit and I would love to hear about it. I would love to hear how and what God delivered you from. I had to pray and ask for everything and I recommend that to everyone. Simply, because He is a good, good Father that is just like us in so many ways. We desire to be needed and so does He. Does He need us for an ego boost? Absolutely not but we sure need Him. And, we need to acknowledge all His greatness. Won’t you allow God to deliver you from yourself too?

Letting go of the past is something so many of us have problems with. We constantly ask ourselves what if? What if I had done this or they had done that? Would it of worked? Chances are that answer is no! Toxic is toxic and we must move past all of it.

There are many things and some people I’ve had to let go of in this season. I had to get rid of all the toxic that tried to keep me stuck in my past and I recommend that you do as well. People that constantly throw something you did in your face do not get to go into your future with you. They can see that tiny speck in your eye but not the plank in their own. These people are miserable inside their own skin with major insecurities and they strive to bring you down as low as they are to keep you. If they can demolish your self worth you will never feel good enough for what God has for you. This is a character trait of the enemy!! Satan has tons of people working for him that do not even realize they are in his army. God is raising up His own army and this is a fight we must win!

Is it always easy letting go of things? No!! I have struggled and still struggle daily with some things God told me to get rid of. I do not know if I will ever get some of them back or if they are gone for good. It was not easy but it is doable because we must stop and think about what Jesus did for us on the cross. That should have been us up there and not ever God!! For the wage of sin is death and we must heal from this world. We cannot love anything more than God. We cannot put anything or anyone before Him. The Bible says that we cannot love our children more than Him and if we do we are not worthy to be His disciples (Matt 10:37). This one hit me in the gut because I did love my children more than anything and anyone, to include the Lord. I have since realized how wrong I was, handed my children over to the Lord and repented for this common mistake parents make. Forgive us Lord for we are such stupid humans.

I have also held on to toxic relationships and learned to acquire a healthy love for myself. That was hard for me because I felt it was me being selfish but we must learn to love ourselves if we want to love our neighbors. It’s a command from God. How can we possibly know how to love others if we do not know how to properly love ourselves. That does not mean be selfish but instead it must be a healthy love of ourselves. I cannot go buy me $3000 in clothes while I see a child without socks and not buy for them first. I do hope this makes sense! When I purchase myself something I always purchase for someone else as well. This keeps me walking in the spirit of humility and it lets me know for certain if I can afford it or if I am not being a good steward of what God has given me. Do I fail? Absolutely! I, too, am just a stupid human BUT I get to do better and be better than I was the day before. I know what God gives He can take away! Do not allow someone to trap you into a version of you that doesn’t exist any longer. If they do not know who God has transformed you into and they do not want to learn who you are now let them go!!

I once had an affair with a man I thought I loved greatly. After a year or so of throwing everything away and blowing my life up for this person God came on the scene and saved me from a lifetime of hell. I saw what I really meant to that person and I was nothing more than a piece of property. A fantasy in a world he created where he could treat any like dirt and I am not the one to accept that for long! This man could not love me because he did not really love himself. As a criminologist I’ve had a few, way more than I can count, psych courses and training that taught me about the human psyche and why people do what they do. Why they say things they say and how to put it all together or the real meaning behind it. Until I learned that love for me I was trapped and stuck in toxic even though I knew better. Please know that when people try and tear you down they really have some serious self esteem problems themselves and the real issue is not even you! Love you!! On this earth you are your only person. Prayer is your only survival asset and God is your only way to freedom. I literally prayed the person I am today into existence and I work on her daily because I can always be better. So, I know that God hears us. I know that He answers us, especially when we are praying for things He wants to see (His will not ours). Choose you!! Pick you!! Not a toxic relationship. Not a demeaning job. Not a life of hell but go to God and ask Him how you need to put you first … after Him of course bc He is the first, the last and the middle. He is your life support! Wow! That’s good … lol. If you ever doubted that this all come from God I wish y’all knew the before me.

Father God thank You for setting us free from toxic. No matter what that toxic may be we know You are working behind the scenes to ensure our life is satisfying with You. O how we praise You for saving us! Thank You that we do not feel trapped and You are the all Mighty One and Provider of all our needs. Thank You for turning ALL things that the enemy meant for our bad into our good. We love You so much. Please forgive us for putting anything in this world before You. We need You in our lives and we know that. We need You as our first, our middle and our last. Consume our thoughts dear Lord! Continue to raise up Your army and teach us how to take dominion of this realm to bring Your will and heaven to earth in real time. Send forth our angels of provision as You are our trusted provider. Send forth our angels of protection and healing for us to be healed and shielded form any and all plots of evil against us and our families. Let the remnant arise and come to know You above all names! Show them who You are Father and heal their hearts. Make them whole so they may come before You. Vindicate those that have been lied on, slandered and hurt by the enemy next to them. Shield their hearts, cover the mind where toxic cannot enter any longer after today. Thank You Father for Your so many blessings. As we approach Pentecost we ask for prophetic winds in our realm and for Your Spirit to be so thickly among us that we are removed. Help us bring Your will to our earth. Thank You Lord for your ministering angels and thank You for our salvation. Thank You for sweeping through our land and healing it. We repent and will do according to Your voice. Let us hear You greater than all voices and our discerning spirit will be spot on and louder than others. We will act according to Your will and we will be obedient to Your calling. Thank You for Your blood, Your mercy, Your grace and for us going from glory to glory with You! I seal this prayer in the blood of Jesus that cleanses is of all sins, iniquity and all trespasses- in the name of Jesus we pray , Amen, amen and amen

We have a part to play when it comes to getting the Word (the Gospel) to the entire world. What are you doing to fulfill your role? God has called many people back to Him to work for Him during this treacherous time and right now your biggest answer to all your questions is: BE OBEDIENT!! Is being obedient hard at times? It used to be when I first started my process. I had to share almost everything on Facebook. There was at least a post a week on an update of what God was doing to me and in my life. It was a bit overwhelming at times. Then He told me to start the blog so I could update people here but I haven’t really done that, I have said many times I am hard-headed but I am doing my best to get over that. I have still put most of my process on facebook and how He was dealing with me, even some videos that were not very easy to do at the time. God had to move me to a place where I learned from Him, who He sent me to, was friends with those He allowed, got rid of what He did not want around, and to a place where I loved Him most! We say we love Him with all of our hearts, souls and minds but do we really? This is something He asked me.. and I found that I would not return my children to Him, even though they were grown. In order to go to my next level I had to hand them over. I had to know that He was first in. My life, well, He had to know. He will not trust you if you do not trust Him. I handed them back to Him and what better place could I ever place them? He created them, I merely got afforded the opportunity to be their mother. They were and are my greatest blessings from the Lord and it took me a bit to get to that realization.

I had to put Him first in every aspect of my life. When we went into quarantine I had to abide by it even though my place of employment was open, at first. I was not considered an essential employed for them in God’s eyes. He told me to stay put and spend time with my family. I was not making any money being at home but I did not worry for the first time in my life about how I was going to make ends meet because I knew God had it. Somehow and someway He was going to provide away and He has. It is like my food multiplies, as if toilet paper just showed up on the aisles on just the right day and He told me to stock up on water before this ever happened and I did. I dont have a hundred cases in storage or anything but I do have 5-6 here with me in case there is someone that comes along that does not have any. Our water in Colt is not the best when it comes to drinking it from the tap. I have started boiling water and making gallons of crystal light tea, which I and my grands have come to know we like. I have come to know that I can make it without any earthly substance except water and if I had to I can boil it and turn it into tea with no calories or sugar. It amazes me what He can do. He has also seen to it that all my bills are paid and that one still confuses me. God started on me last September about tithing my money and my time. So, I complied even through I stomped a little; at first. He put it to me like this: “How can I bless anything you do if you do not give it to me first.” I gave Him my money and my children, and my time. I cannot think of anyone better to entrust my children to. Money, I really do not care about, anymore. He had to get me here though and I had to lose it all in order to gain the spirit of humility. Jesus said it best when He said; “render to Caesar what is Ceasar’s and give to God what is Gods. God will bless your children, your money and your obedience. When it comes to my time I have come to realized that 2.4 hours of the days He gives me are not even mine and I must spend them in prayer, in His Word and meditating on it. I literally started with five minutes a day a year ago and now I spend more than that 2.4 hours with Him on the daily. He will get you there too.. give Him a chance with a simply prayer and a verse a day. Start small and He will take you where you need to be with Him but I must warn you, your life is going to change. There is no “it might change” it is going to change and for the better. He created us for this.. how will you do your part?

Obedience was hard for me at first, too. I am human just like everyone else meaning I have the right to choose which way I think would be best in my life. I have made a mess of my life though and that is a huge reason I handed it over to God. I rationalized with my very human brain that He could never do any worse than I had already done. I mean I died in a car wreck and went to hell. If not for Him I could still be there so why couldn’t I trust Him with all of my life? It is not God that ever hurt me it was people and their own wickedness that stunted my growth in Him, please do not allow the world to distress you. Do not allow people so much control over you that they control your emotions. Anyone that angers you controls you! Anyone that can make you cry has their hand in controlling you. It is time to snatch your power back and away from them. Is this hard to do? Yes!! The human heart is a weak, weak organ and this is why deliverance from God is so important. He will deliver you from anything as long as you ask Him to. If He thinks you are happy, in some mediocrity, He will leave you in it. To be delivered takes prayer and often times tons of it, we have to prove it to Him. This is not an acts of works or deed but testing in the wilderness. In order to get to the land He has dedicated to us we must walk in the wilderness and endure all the tests. It is so worth it on the other side. I am not by any means saying this is easy because it is not but it is worth it. When God has it all from you and all your humanness then and only then will He turn your mess into a message to help others. When He has entrusted us to help others we must go forth and make more disciples as we were commanded and teach the gospel… what are you doing? What has He given you to share? In order to reap a harvest you gotta plant seeds but you also MUST stay connected to Him (the Vine). When He puts things to me like this it makes me feel as though I am not doing enough. I instinctively want to do more and it makes me be in competition with the person I was the day before. There are good days and there are bad days. There are days I wonder where He is and what was all of this for, then I remember The Kingdom and that He allowed me to come back for such a time as this. Do I know all that is going to happen? No, and I am not sure I want to. I like surprises but I do know that He is moving and at an exponential rate.

During this season of transformation do not complain, be obedient at all costs, and give to God what it God’s. Also, know that prayer is your lifeline to any and all sanity.

Father, thank You for this day. Thank You for the hedge of protection You have placed around us and our families. Thank You for Your love, Your death in our places, Your blood, Your mercy and Your graces. Lord we as You to continue to bring. Your miracles to our realm of the natural. We praise Your holy name and we love You. We are so thankful You are our God. Continue to change us and show us how we can be better for You each day. Thank You. Thank You for our destiny with You. Forgive us as individuals and as nations that have gone against Your way. Continue to pull us back to the rightness of You and Your way, Father. A new thing is coming from You and we know that and we thank You for allowing us to be apart of Your movement. Help us to stay in Your will for us. Thank You Lord for deliverance, for breaking off chains in the power of Your name! Thank YOU! In Jesus Name- Amen

Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world Phil 2:14,15.

This is not a season for complaints of any kind. When you think of complaining find something you are grateful for and praise the Lord for that one thing. One thing will turn into two and then become numerous things that we take for granted. God started telling me in October ‘19 that toilet paper is a luxury. There are women in other countries that walk every single place that they go and still draw water from wells. When they need to use the bathroom they stop, squat, do their business and then keep on moving. We are so spoiled in the USA!! If you haven’t come to learn that there are luxuries we take for granted you really aren’t paying attention. I had no idea what was going to happen or that tp was about to be wiped from the shelves of all stores, that they were going to ration what we could purchase, or that food was about to be scarce but look at our world. Toilet paper is the least of my worries, there are other ways to wipe a butt and there are families literally wondering where their next meal will come from and people are hoarding toilet paper, can you see how stupid this appears now? It is a hard time but there are many positives! We are not at war on our soil and we very well could be because we have enemies due to our freedoms. People that do not understand the times, our world, and how things really are are the ones that are complaining about minuscule things.

It could be the 70’s again and we could be in the middle of the virus and the Vietnam war… praise the Lord that is not the case. We can all use this time to do positive things. We can all use this time to listen to the Lord, and read, write business plans, write those books, get in His Word, and learn to really pray.. etc from God but we were too busy and in too much motion to hear from God. We are not in control and that is clearly being seen. God is still very much in control of our world. God is going to use all of this for His glory and our good. Nothing will ever be the same but it will be better. We are trapped in our homes but we can use this as a reset within us and to not complain about all of this. It could be worse. I, too, have had moments that I wanted to complain about being in the house but God told me to shut it! To shut my mouth and not let any of it come out of my mouth because it gives room to the enemy. I get sick of fighting the enemy and do not want to do anything that gives him access to me. God has been teaching me about my enemy so I can fight better and I want to help everyone know satan better, not to focus on him but to know that it is him attacking with them goons. COVID19 is not and will forever be known as REVIVAL 2020! Call it what it is and do not give anymore power to the enemy.

There are benefits and one is we are on lockdown with God. He is talking loud and clear. Our children are not being indoctrinated into a culture not meant for the people of God but they have been given the chance to know God! To know there are only two genders. That God is the one in control and we need to repent for not listening to Him. This is a reset that God is using to reset His people and He is revising us. He is raising up a new breed that will not allow the church to be stuck in the spirit of religion but instead they will take dominion and rule the earth as He created us to do. It is all really exciting when we think about the good that will come from this. Spend time outside, if you can. Go play golf. Write that book! Write your business plan! Get in His Word so He can talk to you.. learn to really pray and seek His face.

Do not forget what this weekend brought a little over 2000 years ago. Jesus died and shed His blood for you!!! He died. He was killed. He was beat beyond recognition and we complain about not having toilet paper, put it into perspective folks. He died and we were told to never complain yet we do and so often when things could be a million times worse. Things will get way worse and we are already spiraling instead of using this time to gain access to the Throne Room of God. Stop that! If we cannot complain because when we dont we are left blameless then lets see what complaints do bring- blame. Satan still has access to God in the heavenlies and when we complain he runs and tattles on us; “look at her, she is complaining about not being able to shop. Look at that one not paying attention to the rules.” Can you see it? Do you understand now why the Bible has rules? We see people complaining all through the Bible and it hurts God’s feelings, it also gives room to satan to destroy you (1 Cor. 10, Num 14, Exodus 18 and so many more). The Bible is clear on not complaining.. so dont and trust me I know how hard it is but find something to praise Him for. Like this weekend is Easter, He arose from the grave for us and died so we could have eternal life with Him. Trust me you want to go to heaven! You want to please Him and not arouse His anger. He is the Most High God and He is still very much in control, do not lose hope or grow weary!

Lord, we thank You for allowing us this time to reset with You. To come before You in Your courts with praise. To be at Your throne with thanksgiving. Lord, we praise You and love You. Thank You for how You will use this and how You are using this. Thank You for renewing us and our minds. Let us always remember what You did for us. Thank You for Your blood, Your mercy, Your grace, and Your love for us. Lord, continue moving through our land healing it, and healing Your people. Father, help us use this time wisely and to not complain. We know it could always be worse. Help us to know that prayer is our lifeline and life support. We have the time and no excuse to not use it wisely, help us Lord, control us and move within us. We surrender to You and Your purpose. Lord, teach us to bring heaven to earth.. teach us to use our brains, teach us to use our hearts for You and to advance the Kingdom. We know You are in control and we thank You for being our God. In Jesus name we humble ourselves before You. Restore the joy of our salvation, remove all obstacles that keep us from You. Remove everything from around us that is not from and of You, Lord. Reset us and give us back our hunger for You- You are more important than any substance in this world and You are first. Guide us, direct us and keep us safe, give us the answers Lord and Your will be done not ours. Speak to us dear Lord, In Jesus name- amen.

I woke up at 0200 with a verse screaming at me… behold! I am doing a new thing. Can you not perceive it? God is about to move and on Passover He was just getting warmed up! Pay attention and listen in the night season because He does a lot of talking then. He does this because we are still and quiet, be ready w a notepad by your bed. God bless and enjoy Easter Weekend.